Confessions of a Crafty Chassy

Hi. My name is Cat and I am a crafting addict. A crafting addict with total ADHD. And impulse control issues when confronted with awesome fabrics that are totally on sale.

Hi, Cat!

Yes. I admit it has been a severe blow to my self-esteem to realize that I need HELP, y’all. I thought I had all of my projects under control. One can never juggle too many projects at once! Seriously! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with keeping busy, is all I’m saying! It’s GOOD to be productive! Right? Am I right?! RIGHT?!

Right?

In my defense, I don’t have a craft room or any place awesome like that where I can escape and just sew and knit and paint and Mod Podge like nobody’s business. Nope. So when I drag my old sewing machine out of its hiding spot in the cupboard, dust it off, and lug it to the craft table I only just broke out of storage, well, I’m going to get some things DONE, by golly! CRAFTY things! Because remembering how to thread the machine correctly so the thread doesn’t jam the needle up, and how to properly fill bobbins and whatnot is no picnic when you have accidentally totally misplaced your sewing machine manual and your machine is, like, fifteen years old and you can’t find the manual online– except for the one that might be the right one but they want you to PAY for it, which what the WHAT (?!) and no THANK you, because it’s the whole principle of the thing.

Just saying.

Honestly. I thought I could handle the knitted Christmas stockings, the Dot quilt, the Window Box quilt, the quilted Christmas stockings, the button monogram on canvas, the knitted Sweetheart socks, the Mod-Podged wooden “L”… AND the felt Advent Calendar!

*sigh*

I need help.

With Friends Like These

Conversation between TGIM and Mack in the DWM family car, after Mack explains that oh my freaking gosh she has only reminded him like a bajillion times that she needs new contacts because the one pair she has left totes hurts her eyes, most likely because she accidentally always falls asleep wearing them but whatever oh my GOSH.

TGIM: Okay, okay, I’ll order some online today and we’ll get them in a week or so.

MACK: OMG! A week?! (Chandler Bing style) Oh my gosh!

TGIM: Calm down! Ain’t no thang.

CAT: Ain’t no thang, ain’t no thang… Bing bong and chickadees! Hee. “New Girl” is fuuuunny, guys.

TGIM: Just wear your glasses until they get here.

CAT: “I’m the only one who hasn’t seen it!” Seriously. Schmidt is HI-larious!

MACK: Fine. But whenever I wear my glasses to school, all my friends congratulate me for getting my nerd on.

CAT: Pee-pee and bubbles!

MACK: MOM.

CAT: Glasses. Nerd. I’m listening.

HANNAH: They’re all like “Rocking the nerd look, huh, Hannah?!”

TGIM: Heh.

MACK: Yah. That’s on you.

TGIM. It’s a Whole Big Thing.

The other day my husband was chatting with an acquaintance. After a few minutes she laughed and shook her head.

“I’m sorry, this is embarrassing, but I forgot your name,” she confessed. “All I can think is TGIM!”

Well. When I heard about this I was all “woo-hoo!” and proceeded to pat myself on the back. But not literally, as that would be weird, even for me. But there was pride, people! Serious pride! Because, you know, TGIM is all my creation and stuff. And this means it’s, like, officially a thing now! Right?! TGIM! You see? Do you?!

So obviously I took it as a compliment.

TGIM? Not so much.

Happy Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night.

Mom, Your Freudian Slip is Showing

So, I’m just going to say it.

I hate FarmVille. HATE! IT! Oh, ho ho, yes I DID just go there! Fiery passion? A thousand suns?! You know the drill.

Honestly. With its never-ending stream of Facebook updates– all the lost sheep and queen bees and stupid strawberry markets, which is not to even mention all the crazy talk about a bushel and a peck of baby corn and whatnot. It’s insanity! Sheer craziness! I mean, it’s no POKEMON, people! Good LORD! You can’t even battle other farmers or evolve your livestock into exciting new breeds of super strong livestock! That can FLY and stuff!

I mean, think about it. You’re essentially working a farm (key word being “working”) for fake money and experience points in your downtime (and don’t think we don’t notice those 4 AM status updates, weirdos). Working! During downtime! For no fiscal remuneration whatsoever. And you can’t even travel around FarmVille on your special flying Pikachu!

Well. That makes the kind of sense that… DOESN’T. I’m only saying.

(And if my kiddos happen to say I was up at 4 AM this morning downloading a special Mew Pokemon Mystery Gift to my DS from Nintendo Wi-Fi, well I WORK so I am up early anyway and they are totally lying, clearly, and I will punish them when I get home. You know. Because of the lying?)

Okay. All that said… c’mon, Mom. Admit it.

This? This right here?!

Well, it’s small moments such as this that make it all TOTALLY worth it.

Making Lemonade

One perk of an EARLY morning commute? Check out that Harvest Moon. Right?! RIGHT?! HA! Woo! Take THAT, late sleepers! YEAH!

*end of glass half-full moment*

Light Me Up

I’m gearing up for the Ragnar Relay, y’all. That’s 22.5 miles, baby! Woo! Also, SCARY. With the night running and whatnot? It’s a good thing I have my brand-spankin’ new Nathan LED Safety Strobe butt bumper! Just came in the mail!

Oh. Hey. It sounds dirty, but it’s NOT. Gosh.

Anyway, I’ve got TWO headlamps. And a red strobe-y bumper light thing. And two reflective vests! Which is not overkill at ALL! Because, honestly, my night run is going to be around 1:30 or 2:00 AM and smack in the middle of nowhere, so I want to make sure I’m WAY lit up, you know?

Again, that came out wrong.

I’m ready. That’s all I’m saying. Bring on the night run, Ragnar! That’s right. BRING it.

I’ve Been Down That Road Before

Psst… Hey! It’s Back to School Night at TD’s high school and guess what?! Guess!

It’s last period and TGIM and I just totally ditched P.E. class!

I know, right?!

“MEMORY!” (end impromptu belting out of Memory from Cats…)

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