Random Thoughts on a SLOOOOOW Friday

January 27, 2006 · Print This Article

If I snarf down a doughnut, but nobody sees me eat it, do the calories count? I think not. (Er, back in a sec…)

Who are the idiots responsible for bringing back the straight-leg jeans and heel look? Or the pencil-leg trouser and ballet pump look, for that matter? Huh?! Have they not SEEN what those combinations do to a normal-sized woman’s hips?! Hello?! It’s madness, I tell you! MADNESS! Everyone knows that straight-leg or pencil-leg jeans– if worn at all, which I highly discourage, especially if they are of the high-waisted mom-pants variety– should only be paired with a solid boot. Balances things out and shizz. I mean, duh. Freaking MORONS. Live in the now, people! Live in the NOW!

I can’t stop listening to Patrick Park’s Something Pretty.

Ditto Old 97’s Adelaide and (when I’m feeling especially kicky!) Four Leaf Clover.

I am very sad for Kat(i)e Holmes. I don’t know why. But as I watch her sail along on Tom Cruise’s Scientology-propelled Sailboat O’ Crazy– smiling blankly as he screams to the masses about sex, drugs, and alien space invaders, or gushing over Kat(i)e’s amazing pregnancy which is just cool and super-duper amazing– well, it makes me want to sit in a quiet corner somewhere humming Paula Cole’s I Don’t Want to Wait over and over while watching classic episodes of Dawson’s Creek on DVD and sobbing quietly into my “Team Pacey!” t-shirt.

Thong underwear. What’s the point? I mean, honestly.

Tee Friggin’ Gee Eye Eff! Today I can finally go home and really hang with the parental units who’ve been visiting all week. PHEW! We don’t have cable and I think my mom has had her fill of my extensive DVD collection. I mean, there’s only so much Buffy and Veronica Mars a person can watch, you know what I’m saying? Yeppers. TGIF. Absofreakinglutely.

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Comments

15 Responses to “Random Thoughts on a SLOOOOOW Friday”

  1. not-so-normal mom on January 27th, 2006 11:25 am

    I agree-straight leg jeans+heels have to go. I am totally against high-waisted mom pants, BUT I HATE seeing the muffin-tops that some girls have spilling over their ultra low-waist jeans. Buy some pants that fit, Ladies! Have a great Friday and a super weekend with the parental units!

  2. Anonymous on January 27th, 2006 11:51 am

    Wait! Mom agreed to go to your house knowing you didn’t have cable??? What is the world coming to??!!!

  3. mrtl on January 27th, 2006 11:59 am

    Go home early! Have a great weekend!

  4. WILLIAM on January 27th, 2006 12:16 pm

    You don’t have cable? What the? Yonzi knows about Mom jeans.

  5. Amy on January 27th, 2006 6:26 pm

    I saw Yonzi’s mom jeans and they were a sight to see, boy.

    I feel bad for Katie, too. But then she breaks into that messed up GRIN and I want to give her a quick little rabbit punch in the nose again.

  6. Charlotte in Pa on January 27th, 2006 7:26 pm

    http://www.myspace.com/plainwhitets You MUST go here and listen to the song “Hey There, Delilah.” It rocks!

  7. Charlotte in Pa on January 27th, 2006 7:43 pm

    Well, it rocks in a quiet, acoustic-poppy kind of way. But you know what I mean…

  8. Michele in Michigan on January 27th, 2006 9:26 pm

    Tom Cruise’s Scientology-propelled Sailboat O’ Crazy

    I do believe that this singularly the GREATEST description EVER! I feel sorry for that girl who is in WAAAAY over her head with him. I hope the money was worth it when he dumps her and steals the kid a la Michael Jackson. Eww

    Thongs are giant wicks for undesirable stuff making its way up into the coochie. Most of the vaginal infections we treated in the office were had by thong wearers. Double ick

  9. kalki on January 28th, 2006 10:37 am

    I am confused. How do you watch Veronica Mars if you don’t have cable?

  10. kalki on January 28th, 2006 10:38 am

    Oh wait. It’s something illegal, right? I’m there.

  11. not-so-normal mom on January 28th, 2006 11:57 am

    Veronica Mars isn’t on cable where I’m at. Maybe it is in other places, I’m not sure!

  12. Cat on January 28th, 2006 4:34 pm

    NO! No illegal downloading going on here, no SIR!

    We have a television antenna. Archaic? Yes. Effective? Damn straight! UPN is a DC channel and comes in CRYSTAL clear.

    We are getting cable and a new DVR next week… Say it with me now: Hallefreakinglujah!
    ;)

  13. kalki on January 28th, 2006 9:43 pm

    Oh. We have an archaic antenna, too, but we don’t get UPN. I guess cause we live under a rock in Redneck Valley.

  14. Ern on January 29th, 2006 5:31 pm

    The skinny-legged jeans thing is making me feel so OLD! I want to go up to the little pre-teenies and shake them by their shoulders and say, “YOU WILL BE SO EMBARASSED BY THIS IN 10 YEARS!”

    At the movie yesterday I saw 2 high school girls wearing stretchy, super-skinny leg jeans and little keds. And the pants were way too low-rise. It did the weirdest thing to their body proportions!

    And thongs? You just have to get the right ones. I have been wearing them for 3 years, and I haven’t looked back. (Also, they haven’t given me any infections.)

  15. Random and Odd on January 30th, 2006 12:06 pm

    Who’s the coolest person on the whole internet?

    CAT IS!!

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