Top Ten Things You Should Probably Never Say to Your Boss if, You Know, You Like Employment and All
March 23, 2006 · Print This Article
**Because I am way tired– too much exhuberant Snoopy Dancing after Kevin’s glorious booting last night, WOO!– and totally swamped at work, I’ve decided to recycle one of my older posts. Enjoy, and feel free to add your own ideas.**
10. “Deadline? What deadline?” (variation: “Deadline, shmeadline!”)
9. When the boss says, “Good morning,” quickly reply, “Oh is it?”
8. Leave long pauses in your conversations at random moments. When your boss is prompted to interject shout, “I am NOT finished!”
7. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”
6. “Oh, did you mean, like, right now?”
5. During a staff meeting, pull a hamster from your pocket and suggest throwing it as a creative means of idea-exchange.
4. “My cubicle isn’t properly laid out according to feng shui. I’m going to have to be moved to get my chi balanced…preferably to an office with a window.”
3. “Loser says what?”
2. When nearly done with a long-winded, excruciatingly dull report, announce, “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
And the number one thing you should never say to your boss [insert drumroll here]:
1. “You’re not the boss of me!”
(List compiled during a collaborative carpooling powwow)
Like you, I totally expected Lisa, and totally hoped for Kellie. My fabulous husband, however, called it. Damn, I hate when he’s right.
Ooops, I think I’ve used a few of those before… Thanks for the heads up! jen
all is right in the world again.
I just have to comment here and say, “How dumb is Pickler?!!”
“What’s a ballsy?” she so innocently asked after Simon called her “sexy and ballsy.” Simon totally has the hots for her!
Great… now every time I hear the word Pickler or even pickles, I think of Cat… There are worse things, I suppose.
lmao love it!
My fav of your work comments is number three!!!! I had a Wayne’s World flashback and I was cracking up!!!!!
Pickler. Yeah. A total innocent? She’s either been raised in a closet (with a sunroof so she could get a tan) or she’s doing the best imitation of a country hick I’ve ever seen.
And no one is the boss of me.