Cat’s Skydiving Voodoo

July 30, 2006

It’s like Christmas! In July!

You know how sometimes you come across something from your past that you had ALMOST forgotten about? And you look at it and memories come flooding back, pounding over you like waves, and you are almost completely overwhelmed, simply drowning in nostalgia? And you maybe even tear up a bit? From the memories? And the sweetness? And because you’re a big baby? Do you?! Huh?!

Well, it was one of those days. TGIM realized that we have the ability to transfer all of our old video tapes to DVD’s via our new video camera and my handy little Mac, so out came the old tapes and damned if there wasn’t some footage of my kiddos that I don’t think I have ever seen before! See, there were tapes and tapes of mini video tapes that we never transfered to VHS… due to laziness? And now? BOOM! Videos of my kids when they were wee babes and I’m suddenly all weepy and Fat Bastardy with my “I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back…”


Anyhoos, nestled amongst the vids of my cute little spawn, I found a video that I thought was long gone, as the VHS tape broke years ago. Unbeknownst to me, however, TGIM had wanted to see what would happen if he played a movie on the TV and videotaped the screen. Because he is a big geek? And I love him for it? The result is not pretty, y’all, but the footage! It’s alive! Mwah ha ha!

Shut up. I’ve been drinking a lot of Dr. Pepper.

So anyhoos, this is the copy of a copy of a copy of my skydiving video from 2000. I’ve updated the music, but the picture quality? It’s a bust. I’m just not that tech savvy, you know what I’m sayin’?

I would just like to note that I can’t help it if eyeglasses in the late 90’s were fugly. It was the times, people! It’s not my fault! And I had JUST had a baby, so shut up about the chubby cheeks, ai’ight?! GOSH!

Okay. Now that all that is out of the way… things to look for and to mock:

*Two words: flappy cheeks. Good lord.
*Interesting case of Thumbs Up rigor mortis.
*Frickin’ comedian on my back. (Honestly. Good thing he was way cute. And had a cool accent. That’s all I’m saying.)

P.S. I’m still frantically working on the B-day Trapeze Extravaganza video(s). Good times. Patience, Grasshopper(s)…

First Time Flipping!

July 28, 2006

Yeah. I have no idea how to download the footage from my brand-spankin’-new video camera so I can start creating. I’ll get right on that. For now, feel free to watch some raw footage as a preview of coming attractions… (Thanks for the video, Paige!)

Forget Fear. Worry About the Addiction…

July 27, 2006

We rocked the trapeze, yo? 

OMG. They ain’t kidding with that slogan, I tell you what.

Trapezing? It’s da BOMB DIGGITY!

Plus, I met the guys who filmed the trapezing episode with Sarah Jessica Parker on Sex and the City, so it was like hanging with celebrities by association. Which is way cool. Even though I never watched Sex in the City. Because I am clearly unhip and out of the know and shut UP. But still! Sarah Jessica Parker! Who is married to Ferris! And rocked the hizzouse in Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! You know?!

Yep. Flippin’ SWEET. (Get it? “Flippin'”? Like the triple flip dismount I threw today?! On accident?! But still?! Dude. “Flippin'”. That was a good one.)

Movie to come.

P.S. Funniest e-birthday card EVAH! Seriously. I can’t stop laughing. My colleagues…. they stare. (Thanks a whole LOT, Mom! and HA!)

YoYo:  (*huffing and puffing*) I.. I can’t make it…

Hoops:  You’re a baby!… You’re a wee baby!

The Price of Birthday Joy

July 26, 2006

Signing up for two-hour trapeze class online: $69.00

Buying last-minute sportswear that will not fly up, fall off, or flash my hoohah at people and why didn’t anyone TELL me (before today) there was a gaping hole in the crotch of my comfy old yoga pants?: $22.74

Buying an extra battery for the video camera in order to assure that TGIM captures every single second of me forgetting fear and surrendering to the call of the sky: $79.12

Driving to Baltimore with TGIM and my friend Paige (who I have conned into coming with), getting hopped up on Dr. Pepper and singing along with songs on a CD burned with appropriately-themed trapezing songs such as Steve Miller’s Fly Like and Eagle, Roxette’s Wish I Could Fly, and Lynard Skynard’s Free Bird, but not Tom Petty’s Free Falling— because hello? so overdone?– oooh, and of COURSE Bette Midler’s Wind Beneath My Wings. Duh: Priceless

Why CAN’T You Fight Karma?

July 25, 2006

I have no idea what I did to bring this upon me, but wow. The cosmic forces of the universe are so totally ganging up on me. No, really. It’s true. See, one minute I’m all, “Woo-hoo! Look at me! On TV and shizz! Hanging with my Ry-Ry! Sort of! Total BFF’s! La la la! I wonder if he’d like to go trapezing with me?! Because he’s clearly the right body type, what with the weeness and obviously adequate level of physical fitness and stuff, and OMG wouldn’t that just be fifteen shades of fun and I wonder if he would wear tights because how cute would that be?!…” and the next I’m sitting here– tired, upset, alone– feeling as if the weight of the world is crushing me into oblivion. OBLIVION! Honestly. I find it amazing that one seemingly insignificant person can walk into a room and within mere seconds suck the air right out of it– WHOOSH!– leaving everyone (read: me) in her wake flopping on the floor gasping for air.  Blessed, blessed, life-giving air.

Man. I hate air-sucky people. I do. They… suck. And I hate karma for sending them to me just when I am feeling the pleasant kick-assiness of a job well-done!

Dude. I’m with Earl. Karma? (And air-sucky lady?) Man. What a bitch. 

On the bright side… Ryan Seacrest? In tights? On the flying trapeze? With the greatest of ease? Catching me, perhaps? Hee. I’m still giggling at the visual.

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