I LOVES me some Ryan Seacrest! (But I HATE Verizon. A whole LOT.)
July 21, 2006 · Print This Article
Okay, so the internet is out at my house… again… and it is my off-day at work (wooHOO!) so I had to jostle and bite my way to the front of the line of way elderly library patrons this morning in order to score a computer. Seriously. Never underestimate the power of small and sassy. Those poor old suckers never had a chance. I mean, kick a few canes and you’re in bidness, that’s all I’m saying. Note it.
Okay, I didn’t really. But I imagined I did, so I’m clearly the most awful person ever anyway, all right?! Are you happy now?! GOSH!
So… I was on TV. Me. And Ryan Seacrest. On TV. Together. E! Network, baby! I SAW it! Ryan said I have “natural talent.” Ryan said my silly video was “very good.” Ryan was “impressed.” BOOYAH! How surreal is THAT?! I know, right?! Ryan and I are, like, total BFF’s now. For reals. Me and my wee Ryan…
(*shakes head affectionately*)
So, in order to show my new BFF Ryan and the folks at E! that I am clearly the most perfect candidate for the Emmy Red Carpet with Ryan Seacrest Extravaganza Rama-Lama-Bing-Bang, I have decided to make a brand-spanking new video. See, next Thursday is my birthday, right? RIGHT?! And remember how last year I scored those free tickets to the American Idol concert in DC? Do ya?! Well, this year, I’ve decided I am going to have to top that kickass birthday experience with something absolutely SQUEEworthy, so I have decided that I am totally going to take the plunge… I’m going trapezing.
WOO!
I’ll be soooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarin’! Flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’! There’s not a star in heaven that–
Good lord. I have GOT to nip my High School Musical obsession in the BUD, I tell you what. It’s a sickness, y’all. A SICKNESS! But they’re so CUTE! And the music is so CATCHY! Shut up! It’s true! It is! I don’t care!
And I am clearly insane.
Hmmm… Okay, now to get into the swing of things before next Thursday (get it?! “swing”?! HA! I kill myself, I really do…) all I need are some hard-hitting trapeze interview questions.
(*rushes off to brainstorm and quite possibly watch self on TV with BFF… again*)
Will you be able to show the segment from E!?
Have fun trapezing.
Darn i want to see the E segment so bad!!
Woo Hoo..I do hope you win!
We’ll be able to say…”I knew her when”…or, “yeah, I was like, one of the first people to read her blog before she became famous”. Or something like that! Good luck, momma. You really DO have natural talent!
Gawd… It’s about TIME your wee Ryan caught up to a fact that we’ve known for some time now… You ARE a natural talent!
oh oh oh!! you can tell him it was YOUR fault that Constantine had that ‘bad rap’ thing on the internet as an april fools joke just for you!
Good lord, woman, this is HUGE!!!!!!
[...] And so it begins. Yo, yo, yo, dawgs! Bring it ON, America. Bring it ON, Simon Cowell. Bring it ON, my wee Ry-Ry who totally missed his opportunity when he didn’t pick me for the Red Carpet Challenge (your loss, Ryan Seacrest!) [...]