What can I say? It’s in my SOUL.

August 31, 2006

There are times in my life when mere prose cannot assuage the melancholy (a seemingly implacable foe!) that– unbidden and unwanted– slips through the armor of sass and snark and laughter and takes up residence ’round my heart. At times such as this… well, I wax poetic, y’all.

Hey. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Pair yoga and ballet

Shake booty… enlightenment

Say namaste, bitch.

Public Restroom Cell Phone Users

August 30, 2006

Because sometimes you just have to draw the line. That’s all I’m saying.

The Rhythm is Gonna Get You

August 28, 2006

Is it wrong that when I popped in my Yoga Booty Ballet DVD for the first time last night, I could not withstand the compulsion to throw caution (and the YBB instructors’ warnings) to the wind by skipping the whole Sit And Watch The DVD A Few Times Through Before Even Thinking About Attempting Those Bootylicious Moves Hey We Are So Not Kidding Sit DOWN You Big Dummy You Could Pull Something part and totally shaking my groove thing, shaking my groove thing, yeah, yeah? Because if it was wrong of me to lose myself in the music, the moment (I OWNED it!) then baby… well, you know the rest.

Hey. In my defense, we were bumpin’ booties, havin’ us a ball, y’all! I mean honestly. Bumpin’ booties! Havin’ us a ball! Gettin’ in shape! Doin’ yoga and shizz! WHILE BUMPIN’ BOOTIES! I mean, the hip thrusts alone… Hello?! Simply irresistible?! Seriously. I ask you, how COULD I resist? Huh?! HOW?!

That’s what I thought. It just can’t be done.

Whatever. I blame Kalki.

In other news, I have recently developed a quirky habit of slipping random song lyrics into my everyday conversations. Which is apparently “annoying.” I’m currently looking into 12-step programs. Fingers crossed for a full and speedy recovery.

I’m, like, famous or something…

August 27, 2006

blogher Great Blog Find

Wow! Check it out! I am a Great Blog Find at blogher.org! That’s like a Major Award! Or something! Okay, not really. More like a Minor Mention.

But still! COOL.


August 25, 2006

The rooms we redecorated may still be in a state of disarray, the paint may not be dry yet, the curtains may not be installed yet, the master bedroom closets may not be built yet, but we will make do!

The kids are home.

I may have cried and raged at the ridiculously inept TSA staff at Chicago O’Hare International Airport who detained me and forced me and a petrified Alli to pass through security again after we– hurrying back to TD and Mack (sitting alone at Gate A3) while struggling to keep four Ben & Jerry’s Mint Super Chocolate Chunk ice cream cones from dripping all over the floor– accidentally made a wrong turn, walked two steps out of the secure area of the terminal, then spent fifteen minutes trying to convince the idiot security guard (and then his idiot supervisor) that yes, we had indeed just bought the ice cream that was dripping down my hands and arms and pooling on the floor (clearly creating some sort of slippery safety hazard, I might add) at the Ben & Jerry’s located exactly twenty feet away, and that no, we DID NOT have our boarding passes or anything else because we were JUST BUYING ICE CREAM RIGHT OVER THERE (sixteen dollars! what a RIP!) and my two OTHER children were anxiously waiting for us at the boarding gate and don’t you people have any common sense and what the hell do you MEAN put the ice cream cones in the bin with my shoes because they need to GO THROUGH the X-RAY MACHINE?! Good LORD! Are you people freaking KIDDING ME?! (They weren’t.)

The kids are home.

We may have arrived home at one o’clock in the morning and slept in until ten, so the whole day is pretty much shot now because we are going to have to hit the sack early tonight because tomorrow we’re heading to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware (instead of Hollywood and the Emmy Awards because my wee Ryan was obviously intimidated by my quick wit and kick-ass interviewing skillz and was all, “Oh, no, no, NO, Cat would totally steal the show…”, so whatever) and we want to wake up at the crack of dawn and get on the road before traffic gets CRRRAAAAZY because we’re going to hit the waves and get jiggy with the body surfing and whatnot and generally up-chuck the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie to beat and that takes ENERGY, yo?– but no matter!

The kids are home.

I am cooking for five again, instead of two, so I’m pretty sure I’ll put back on those five pounds I lost this summer, but my clothes will still fit! Just tighter! No biggie! Yoga Booty Ballet arrived yesterday (thanks, Kalki)! My booty will be FINE, I tell you! Just… bigger!

The kids are home.

Last night as I tucked the girls into their brand new beds and kissed them goodnight, then climbed up into TD’s behemoth loft-bed and– just as I did last summer– I watched his sweet little eyes flutter shut, and I turned to gaze at the ceiling and I stretched and sighed– you know, a deep, heavy sigh from the very depths of my heart and soul– it was then that I realized that finally? Finally, y’all? I could BREATHE again.

How long had I been holding my breath? It felt like forever.

The kids? They are home.

Next Page »