Ooooh, it’s that time of year, y’all… (updated for authenticity)
January 18, 2007 · Print This Article
(Shout-out to Shaun for the flippin’ SWEET photo!)
American Idol, baby!
Let’s get ready to RAWK, yo?
However…
I totally missed the season premiere of AMERICAN IDOL.
I know, right?! Where the HELL are my priorities?! Gosh. Stupid family obligations. And work and stuff. Freak.
Luckily, both of this week’s episodes are safely tucked away in my handy-dandy Ti-Faux, and there will be a recap– oh, yes, there WILL be a recap. In the meanwhile, I do have a small inkling of how things went down last night, thanks to an IM session with my buddy Paige which consisted– in part– of the following exchange [sensitive information redacted]:
Paige: Are you watching?
Cat: Am I watching… DAMMIT!
Paige: So, no?
Cat: It’s recording… I’ll watch later.
Paige: Ryan is SHORT.
Cat: I know, right?! He’s wee!
Paige: I feel sorry for these people.
Cat: Delusional. The lot of ‘em.
Paige: Simon is being so mean!
Cat: What?! NO! I’m SHOCKED! Are people crying?
Paige: Dude!
Cat: Dude!
Paige: Don’t go up to the camera and cry! What did you expect?!
Cat: See? I don’t even need to be watching.
Paige: What? They don’t know that they suck?
Cat: I mean, seriously.
Paige: I can’t stop eating Cheezits, dammit!
Cat: Dammit!
Paige: This 7 foot tall woman is on…
Cat: Aw. Poor Ryan.
Paige: Simon is saying “I think that is the tallest girl I have ever seen!”
Cat: Speaking of tall, I need a donut.
Paige: Simon just called her a giraffe!
Cat: He’s such an ass.
Paige: Whoa!
Cat: What?
Paige: What the…?!
Cat: WHAT?!
Paige: Seriously…
Cat: Okay, keep in mind I’m not actually watching right now…
Paige: Hey, did you buy a gerbil?
See? I mean, I practically watched it, right?!
Then again, if you– like me– missed the season premiere(s), I am fairly certain that if you go back and read this post from last season, take out last year’s contestants and insert this year’s freaks and geeks, then bada bing bada boom! You’ve just freed up four hours of your life that otherwise you would never get back! EVER.
Oh, you’re feeling me, aren’t you?
That being said… was it good?!
Wait! Don’t tell me! DON’T TELL ME! Sheesh. What’s wrong with you? Honestly.
…
No, really. Was it?
(Blink twice for yes.)
Let me just say that this may be the season where Ryan actually says the words, “To vote for Crack Baby, dial 1-800-IDOLS-01.
So did you buy a Gerbil?
Charlotte: Well, now! This sounds promising… *grabs phone*
William: Not yet. Thanks for asking.
Oh, I just love the picture….it’s just freakin’ awesome!!
Didn’t see it. But i am looking sorta forward to Paula bringing in the crazy. And of course, to your commentaries which are almost better than the show itself.
Ack. I think I might not watch the beginning of Idol this year. I tried. It’s just so MEANN and even Meaner. Than before. I love the show but not the beginning where Simon bad mouths people’s looks and then kids watch and think it’s funny. He’s seriously promoting bullying. Not that he cares!
If you do buy a Gerbil please name it Simon.
It can’t be Simon, William, because Cat insists that they get a girl gerbil. She doesn’t like the “junk in the trunk”
It was awfully mean. I like the crazy. I mean I like hearing the bad singers because I find it amusing. But I do think that they are way too mean to the contestants. I also feel bad that all these people don’t have honest mommies or friends that will tell them the truth. That makes me sad. I can’t wait until the beginning auditions are over. Then it will be good! By the way, I agree with your issues with boy animals. I don’t like seeing anything hanging down or-EW- when you’re sitting down wearing shorts and a boy dog comes over and sits on your leg, and there it is-an animal penis on your leg. Gross.