April 30, 2007
When I feel as if parts of my life are falling apart around me, and I am lost in a maze allowed to grow wild with uncertainty and fear and disquiet, I try to remember a lovely moment, and what I felt. Perhaps I think of the first time I stuck a full-twisting double back layout in my floor exercise. Or my second real kiss. Or possibly the moment I realized that, oh good lord, no joke, TGIM was seriously proposing to me. Or even the exact second I looked into my newborn son’s wide and dazed eyes for the very first time and he gazed back at me and I was struck by one word only: mine.
Surely I must have felt surprise and awe, but no real sense of that comes back to me. No, instead, feelings of happiness— pure and golden— warm me from the inside out, like the warm cloak of sunshine falling round me as I sit on my bed contemplating and composing this.
Admittedly, with the warmth comes the hint of a chill, because I can never fully recapture the moment. Instead, I see it all happening apart from me, a mere spectator. I watch myself as I was then, like a stranger, far removed from who I am now, and it seems so distant. So long ago. Too far away to be connected to me. But, amazingly, the happiness does connect, and flows through my body, thawing the parts of me frozen by fear and self-recrimination, and I realize that the warmth? Well, it is enough. It clears a path for me, allowing me to move forward, move on. Not yet found, but no longer lost, I resume my travel through the maze, a woman determined to make boulders in her way into stepping stones because life is short and if we want these lovely moments, we need to grab them, disappointments, setbacks, and shenanigans be damned.
And I’m thinking that right now, at this very moment, a quick trip to Dunkin Donuts is simply crying out to be my next lovely moment. Cinnamon cake donuts. Mmmm.
April 27, 2007
…your 3rd grader’s final slide in her PowerPoint presentation on Rosa Parks, the Mother of the Modern Civil Rights Movement, reads (and I quote):
Why I Admire Rosa Parks
She was brave and she stood up (but not literally, ha!) to laws that she thought were unfair. She remained in her seat.
You see? With the inappropriate-yet-impossible-to-resist punning? DO YOU SEE?!
Seriously. What else can I say? My job here is done.
April 24, 2007
Alli: (from backseat, reaching for a cookie) Hey, Momma, will you hook your sister up?
Hannah: (kicking off flip-flops while swinging) Momma! Swinging with the wind rushing over my toes is my favorite way to swing! (flinging hair as if she were the Breck Girl) With the wind in my hair!… While wearing a skort!
Alli: (clapping her hands) Okay, people, let’s go to Dairy Queen for goodness Pete’s sake!
Hannah: Hey, Momma, listen! Cheese, cheese, I love cheese! Too bad I have allergies, and yummy cheese makes me sneeze! Geez!
April 21, 2007
There were two choices in Friday traffic, only two, and though the correct way seemed oh-so-clear, I chose the wrong road. Totally. Start… stop. Start… stop. Start… stop. START… STOP.
I seethed. I railed. I expressed my frustration in less-than-ladylike terms. Finally, I dialed TGIM.
“Argh! I am SO mad! I totally chose the wrong road! This way is usually quicker, but not today, NOOOOOO, and these morons are NOT moving and I am NEVER going to get home, just so you know! NEVER! Just don’t even think about seeing me for HOURS! I’m not even kidding! OH! MY! GOSH! This idiot just CUT ME OFF! Way to go, loser! MAN! IDIOT! Aaaaaargh!”
There was silence on the other line for a moment, then, “Um… okay. Is there anything else?”
“Anything else?” I asked, maneuvering past some genius who apparently thought driving fast in the fast lane was more of a suggestion than an imperative. “Oh. Well, no, not really. There was just no one in the car to talk to, so… um, I thought I’d just, you know, give you a call…”
Another pause, then, “Goodbye, Cat.”
Well. How rude. Honestly.
April 18, 2007
Nothing says family togetherness like Guitar Hero. Just sayin’.