Vacation Bible School Euphoria

Vacation Bible School euphoria is a curious and slightly bewildering thing to behold, I tell you what. Allison was invited to attend with her best friend, and we were all like, “Eh. Why not?”

When Allison returned home the first evening I could hear her dancing around downstairs, regaling her brother and sister with colorful and sundry details of her evening spent eating yummy snacks and playing games and dancing and learning new songs.

“Listen, guys! Listen,” she begged, just before launching into song. LOUD song.

“Our GOD is an AWESOME God! Um, something… something… he ain’t just putting on the ritz! Our GOD is in AWESOME God!”

I heard Tanner snicker, and thought– perhaps– I might need to be privy to the goings-ons of this budding conversation. I put away my magazine (it was an edifying periodical, I am SURE, not at all some frivolous rag, like, say, InTouch or anything…), and snuck down to the landing at the bend in our stairwell, where I could see but not be seen.

In the living room Allison was performing some sort of little–I don’t know… jig?– while Tanner and Hannah looked on, wide-eyed. And not the Wow, that is so cool! wide-eyed, no sirree, but the Is she for real?! No, REALLY? wide-eyed. YOU know the one. The one that spells Trouble. With a capital T.

Allison brought it home. “He reigns from heaven above! Something… and love! Our God is an AWESOME GOOOOD!”

Now, she’s only just turned eight, so I am going to go ahead an overlook the jazz hands. Tanner and Hannah, however, were not as generous.

Tanner glanced at Hannah, then back at Allison. “You know,” he said, his voice calm, “some people might think that song is a little,” he paused, in an apparent struggle to choose the right word, “well, disrespectful.”

Hannah nodded her head. “Yeah. Disrespectful.” Then she giggled.

I couldn’t see Allison’s face, but her body language clearly said Oh, no you did NOT.

“What?!” she said, her voice incredulous. “It’s not disrespectful! It just says God is awesome! Which he is!”

Hannah piped in then with, “Aaaaaaawesome, dude.”

Alli turned to Hannah. “No, not awesome like cool, but awesome like… you know, really awesome!”

Tanner shrugged. “I’m just saying. It seems disrespectful to be all, ‘God is awesome! God is awesome!’”

“It is NOT!” Allison stomped her foot. “You’re just jealous that I got to go to Vacation Bible School and you didn’t! So SHUT! UP! you big, fat meanie!”

“Is that what Jesus would say?”

Hannah giggled again.

Not to brag, but I’ve always had a pretty good sense of timing, and by the steam I could practically see coming out of Allison’s ears, I was sensing that this was a particularly fitting time to join the conversation. I came the rest of the way down the stairs and distracted my youngest daughter with a “Hi, there, cutie!’ and a hug.

I hope you admire my restraint when I tell you I resisted the urge to tell her that her brother and sister were clearly jealous of her success in the Lord, since she was down with G-O-D and filled with Christ’s love. (Hoo! Saved. Funny flick, that.) But I digress.

“Watch what we do after we sing songs,” she ordered just before she tore a brand new VBS straw cowboy hat off her head and waved it around with zeal, while she yelled, “Yeeeehaaaaw!” Then she pointed to a small goody bag she had placed on the table before launching into song and dance. “I got goodies, too,” she told me proudly.

I picked up the bag and pulled a small blue teddy bear out of it. “What’s this?” I examined it a little more closely. “Oh. It says ‘Jesus’ all over it. It’s a Jesus bear. A bear made out of Jesus cloth.” I looked up at Allison. “So, what’s up with the Jesus bear?”

Allison smiled at me. And not an Oh, Momma, you’re so cool smile, but more of an Oh, Momma, I’ll miss you in heaven, you Godless savage smile. “Um… we worship him?”

“The bear?” Tanner asked, oh-so-innocently.

“JESUS!” Allison yelled.

I may have giggled. I don’t know. It all happened so fast.

“MOM!”

Allison’s spiritual high eventually calmed a bit and I was able to put the kids to bed without any more instances of religious persecution.

Phew.

I tell you what. Learning to dealing with the aftermath of Vacation Bible School euphoria? Steep learning curve, my friends. That’s all I’m saying. STEEP.

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