TechnoGeekery, and I’m going back to Cali, to Cali, to Cali…

Not that all y’all need any more reasons to mock me, but my new TechnoGeekery podcast is up.

TechnoGeekery Show #7: Breaking Up With Blogger

This week, the question du jour asks about transferring all of one’s posts from one blog host to another. Well, you know how the song goes: They say that breaking up is hard to do…

But it doesn’t have to be like that, and this week’s episode of TechnoGeekery shows you how to break up with Blogger–and move right in with Wordpress.com–in a snap.

Plus, there’s singing! And “Leave Wordpress ALONE” gal! And did I mention the singing?! Super bad singing?! Because there’s that.

That being said, I’m off to California! I’m going back to Cali, to Cali, to Cali… Will I have time to blog? Huh! I don’t think so.

Oh, I kid! I’m attending the Podcast and New Media Expo in sunny CA with my Mommycast BFF’s (TechnoGeekery is part of their new Mommycast and Friends channel at Podango! Woo!) this weekend, so there will be bunches and bunches of technogeeks around playing with techno gadgets and vidcasting and blogging and stuff. I know, right?! Heaven on earth.

We Don’t Need No Education

Over a Saturday morning breakfast of pancakes and eggs, I was discussing the whole Five Guys phenomenon with my kiddos–bee tee dub, awesome burgers, even Zagat says so, just so you know–and I mentioned that the five sons of the entrepreneur chose the family business over college.

“Well, if their business is making lots of money, then they can afford to go to college, right?” Hannah asked.

“Because you have to go to college to learn.” Alli added with eight-year-old conviction.

“Well, that’s not necessarily true,” I said, ever the fair and balanced educator. “You don’t need to got to college to learn. People can learn in many different ways, you know, like through reading books or gaining life experience.”

The girls, while busily stuffing their mouths with (not so dainty) bites of pancakes, were nodding their heads, as if to say, “Uh-huh… uh-huh…”

Encouraged, I took it a little further, “Don’t get me wrong, I think college is a wonderful idea, a solid investment in your future, even if you already have a successful family business or career. I’m just saying there are more ways to learn. I mean, at college you’re really just reading books and discussing what you read, anyway, but–”

“And going to parties,” Alli chimed in, matter-of-factly, before reaching for her glass and swigging her milk.

My eyes widened. The Bureau of Labor statistics I had at the ready flew out the window.

Hannah pointed a pancake-laden fork at Alli. “Yeah. And kissing boys,” she added, then popped the pancake in her mouth and chewed happily.

And with that, my lecture–all about how people with more education make more money, but college is also about developing communication, social, and logical thinking skills–stalled out before I could even bring it up to cruising speed.

I looked back and forth between my grinning eight and nine-year old daughters, who were looking at each other and nodding in a rare moment of sisterly camaraderie–envisioning frat parties and kissable college boys, no doubt! and beer! probably beer! at the parties?! with the college boys!– and there were no words. Which NEVER happens.

Then, with indisputable Because-I’m-the-momma, that’s-why! finality, I said, “Yeah, you two are so not allowed to go to college.”

Ha! Take THAT, horny little frat boys.

“Hey!” Hannah and Alli wailed in unison.

From the living room, I could hear TGIM laughing quietly.

Flight of the Conchords: Talking About the Issues…

… but keeping it funky!

Sorry. I couldn’t resist sharing one more. Call it my weekend present to you, mm’kay? Honestly. They’re the Neo-Smothers Brothers! Not that anyone under… um, a certain age that is way older than me… even knows what the heck I mean by that, but I can’t help it if I am preternaturally hip to the comedy duos of the 60’s.

The actual song starts at around 2:32, but the conversation beforehand is quite funny. And, incidentally, the conversation after the song is hilarious, and could conceivably be Michael Scott’s– of The Office– dream come true. And if you get what I mean by that, then we should totally be BFF’s. For real. ‘Cause you GET me.

Random Friday Ramblings

(Cat’s Caveat Lector: I haven’t had more than four hours of sleep any night this week. Sleep deprivation makes me cranky. And sort of stupid. That is all.)

So… on the way home from work yesterday I heard that song If Everyone Cared by Nickelback. You know, the one that goes, “If everyone cared and nobody cried/ If everyone loved and nobody lied/ If everyone shared and swallowed their pride/ Then we’d see the day, when nobody died.” And I thought to myself: Hey, now. That’s just plain silly.

I mean, at the end of the day, even if nobody cried or lied, and everyone on God’s green earth cared and loved and shared and swallowed their pride, I’m pretty sure accidentally stepping in front of a swiftly moving vehicle or locomotive of some sort would still kill you dead. As a doornail, right? And try explaining to the lions and other wild animals why they shouldn’t maul or eat people! That’s right! I bet Nickelback didn’t take into consideration the wild, dissident nature of the beast! What? Like the lions are just going to sit back and say, “Hey! These tasty human wandering around aren’t crying or lying anymore! They are caring and loving and sharing and swallowing their pride! Let’s not eat them today!” (Hee. I said “pride.”) Heck no! The kings of the jungle will still freaking eat you! If you happen to be in the jungle and stuff! Oh, and don’t even get me started on natural disasters.

Be reasonable with your song lyrics, Nickelback. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for you to change the lyrics to something like, “…Then we’d see the day, when nobody died… unless they get hit by a swiftly moving train, in which case, c’est la vie.” I’d still buy the song! Well, except for the whole It’s a Nickelback Song thing. In any event, stop creating expectations of invincibility in a Utopian society! That’s all I’m saying.

My point? Rested.

Speaking of eager little beavers… my little Mack? Not so much with the eager little beaverness when it comes to school this fall.

What? Yes, I was too speaking of eager little beavers! Or maybe I nodded off for a moment and dreamed about them! But whatever! Stop interrupting! GOSH.

Conversation between Mack and TGIM as he dropped her off (read: forced her out of the car kicking and screaming) at school yesterday morning:

Dad: Remember, Mack… happy! Smiley face! Joy joy!
Hannah: Hrumph. Sad. Frowny face. Misery misery.

I’m not going to lie. While I’m understandably concerned about my daughter’s reluctance to fully embrace the fourth grade experience, I’m more than a little impressed with her spontaneous and witty analogistic rejoinder during a moment of emotional crisis. And she’s never even SEEN Ren and Stimpy! So there’s that.

Happy! Smiley face! Joy joy!
Sad. Frowny face. Misery misery.

Catchy! I’m thinking the t-shirts would sell like hotcakes.

Uncool

I can’t ever do anything the cool way.

Honestly. I couldn’t smash my hand while doing something cool or heroic, like–in a superhuman, adrenaline-fueled burst of strength–lifting a car off the bodies of a trapped mother and her three children. Oh, no. I slam my hand in my car door. Like an IDIOT. Oooh! Look at me! Miss Coordination! I can’t remember to pull my hand out of the way of a car door in time to prevent damage to my limbs! Wooooo!

It reminds me of when I was a competitive gymnast. My worst injury? Did I get it while performing a double-twisting layout during my floor exercise? No. Did I get it when my fingers slipped from the uneven bars during my giant swing? Uh-uh. Did I get it while showing a class of six-year-olds how to do a proper cartwheel? DING DING DING! We have a winner!

Or… not. Which was my point, actually.

*sigh*

Life is so unfair.

Next time I hurt myself, I darn well better be saving the life of an endangered mammal of some sort. That’s all I’m saying. You hear me, Oh Whimsical and Ironical Fate? Well?! DO YOU?!

In other news, Technogeekery Show #6: Trump Teens at Technology is up at Technogeekery.com. A big thanks to Paige from Mommycast.com for appearing as my special guest star slash expert person. You rock!

Boob Tube Mania: The Fall 411

Okay. So, I accidentally slammed my hand in my car door and I think I broke it. Don’t worry! I only lost consciousness from the pain for, like, five seconds or something, so it’s all good. But the whole typing with a hand I possibly broke thing makes typing a bit difficult–just a tinge!–you know, with the shooting pain and whatnot, so this premiere edition of “The Fall Television Season Lineup Looks Frakkin’ Awesome” will be short and sweet.

So, guys? The fall television season lineup looks frakkin’ awesome! Like… AWESOME awesome. Of course, since TGIM and I canceled our cable back in May, viewing my favorite new shows maybe be problematic. Especially since Apple and NBC can’t play nice. Boys! Boys! You’re both pretty! Now cut it out!

Then again, I DID actually already view several of the fall pilots (and have Bionic Woman and Aliens in America all geared up for tonight! I’ll let you know!), so you may be wondering if my viewing these shows for the rest of the season will be as problematic as I’m insinuating.

To which I say… good point.

Disclaimer: I have done nothing “illegal”… at all! Er, yeah… so step off me, yo?

That being said, on with the show.

Cat’s Fall TV RECOMMENDATIONS:

Chuck (I love me some Chuck! The Nerd Herd never looked so good!)
Premieres: Monday, September 24, 8/7 central, NBC

Reaper (although they DID recast the main love interest, but I’ll still give it a shot…)
Premieres: Tuesday, September 25, 9/8 central, The CW

And last, but certainly not least, as I frakkin’ [heart] this show with a blazing passion:

Pushing Daisies (a morbid yet so, so purty forensic fairytale)
Premieres: Wednesday, October 3, 8/7 central, ABC

Check ‘em out. That’s all I’m saying. Or not. Whatever. I don’t even care. But I’m jazzed–that’s right, I said JAZZED– because I think there are several witty, quirky shows to chose from if Paige and I feel compelled to start a new Rewind vidcast…

Fooyah!

And OW. Must go ice hand now.

*Updated to add: Bionic Woman? Eh. Underwhelmed. Which is too bad, as I have fond memories of the original. Plus, I got to be the Bionic Woman at Universal Studios when I was a youngin’! For real! I jumped over a plane! And ran super fast! Sha na na na na… sha na na na na… In any event, I’ll have to get my hands on the recast, retooled pilot. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Otherwise… just, eh.

Technogeekery Show #5: Pimp My Blog, Pt. I

Check it! I used some sweet new screen capture video software in this episode. Yup. Still working out the kinks, o’ course, but it’s FUN, yo?

What? TechnoGeekery isn’t about TechnoProficiency. Nope. uh-uh. It’s all about the TechnoJoy!

Technogeekery Show #5: Pimp My Blog, Pt. I

Bring Back the Funny. Please?

So, after a colossally underwhelming, seriously sucky weekend (though I’m sure it was all hugs and puppies in comparison to poor Britney Spears’ trainwreck of a weekend, but focus…), capped off by a horrendous Monday morning (there was this whole thing with a spider of enormous proportions, and then some recklessly itinerant sprinklers– don’t ask), something happened yesterday that finally brought back the funny. Seriously. Cracked me right up. I laughed right out loud and e’rything.

It began when TGIM grabbed his car keys from the table and announced to the family in general, “I’m going to Sears.”

“Why?” I asked. Because when TGIM voluntarily commits himself to braving the mall, there is invariably a compelling why. “Do we need a tool? Or an appliance of some sort?” I mentally inventoried the utility closet.

TGIM shrugged. “Nah. I just haven’t been in a while.”

Okay. Sure.

Wait. What now?

He looked around at the kids, who stood with their Okay, mister, what have you done with my father? eyes trained warily upon him. “So… who wants to come with Daddy to Sears?!”

Huh. He was serious.

Poor darlings. The kiddos looked to me for guidance, but I simply shrugged, still puzzling over TGIM’s sudden shopping compulsion. Plus, I was trying to remember if we needed vacuum filters or not (because, if he was going)… which, not, thanks to TGIM’s Great Sears Shopping Spree of ‘06. Boy rocked the sale, yo?

TD and Hannah agreed to go, no doubt hoping for a chance to hit EB Games for a little one-on-one time with the Wii.

Not funny yet? I know! Patience! Good lord. Let a gal set the stage, will you? Sheesh.

Where was I? Ah, yes. The mall excursion.

So they left, and I took advantage of this windfall of Quiet Time by running upstairs to put the finishing touches on my TechnoGeekery podcast.

Still not funny? I know! I’m almost there! Stop interrupting.

After a few hours–oh, yes, I said HOURS–I heard the front door open, and Hannah burst into the house. How do I know it was Hannah? Because she was singing. And what was she singing?

Ah! Pay attention! This is the part where it gets funny! Although I probably just ruined it by telling you it was funny! Which is like explaining the joke! Which makes it un-funny! But whatever!

TGIM must have been listening to My Chemical Romance in the car because Hannah was singing Teenagers at the top of her lungs. As she thundered up the stairs, I sat frozen, mentally cursing TGIM for his indiscriminate song selection while Children Were Listening.

Until, that is, my girlie burst into my room belting out the chorus, “…’they! say! now! teenagers scare the little sheep out of me! Duh da da da dah…’– oh, hi, Momma, whatcha doin’?”

And that, my friends, is the exact moment when life brought back the funny.

Flight of the Conchords: Just For Fun

Why? Because I’ve had a bad, horrible day. And they make me laugh. Right out loud. I mean, they are New Zealand’s fourth most popular folk parody duo. Says HBO, anyway. I bet they’re, like, number two now. At LEAST.

Business Time

“I turn it into a sexy dance…” Classic.

The Humans are Dead

“Binary solo! 0000001, 0000011…” Oh, they kill me. (”Sniff this one, it’s dead…”)

Okay. Feeling better now.

Life in the Fast Lane

So, yesterday afternoon, as I was driving down the Beltway in my sporty li’l Mazda Miata at speeds in excess of, er, sixty miles per hour, it suddenly occurred to me that I was driving (read: hurtling) down the Beltway in my sporty (read: teensy-tiny) li’l Mazda Miata (read: practically a toy car!) at speeds in excess of sixty (read: seven—er, fine, eighty) miles per hour (read: way too damn fast). And with that realization, a shock of unadulterated terror like I have never known (not even when I jumped out of that perfectly good airplane that one time with only a hot foreign dude—oh, and a parachute—strapped to my back!) jolted through me. I’m not talking about a pang or twinge of fear. Uh-uh. No. TERROR. IN ITS SHEEREST FORM.

Through a haze of blinding panic I caught a glimpse of the enormous wheels of a semitruck as they rolled past my window—taller than my car and mocking me, all, “Toy Car, I mock you weeth my rubbery enormity! I weel roll you down and squash you eento pancakes, yes?! Oh, ho, ho!” Sparing only a millisecond of surprise that the semitruck’s tires were apparently French imports, one hand flew involuntarily to my chest with—I can only imagine—the ostensible purpose of keeping my suddenly pounding heart from bursting—blappidy BLAP!—straight through my ribcage. Beads of sweat—cooled immediately by the crisp, conditioned air—broke out on my forehead. I could barely hear the radio over the accelerated hammering of my heartbeat, pounding in my ears— pounding, pulsing, rushing, racing! Danger! Panic! Good lord! I was all in a panic! Cars! Everywhere! Big cars! Semitruck wheels! Towering over me! With slightly dubious French accents! I was going to die! In my sporty li’l Miata! DIE, I tell you! GAH!

And… BLAM! Just like that, the terror vanished, replaced with a sudden wave of euphoria so strong, so sweet, it sent waves of chills up my spine. It was the most curious thing. Every nerve in my body seemed to be tingling with exhilaration. I mean, I was whizzing down the Beltway in my sporty li’l Mazda Miata at top speeds! TOP SPEEDS! WHIZZING! ME! FOOYAH!

With that realization, I turned off the air conditioning, rolled down the window, let down my hair, and cranked up The Jeep Song by Lee Coulter, which happened to be playing on the stereo at that very moment. At the top of my lungs, I sang along with Lee as I left those pompous semitruck tires in my dust.

“…making people stare, she’s on her way… she’s on her waaaaaaaaaay!”

In other news, I’m pretty damn certain I will be trading in my sporty li’l Miata for a big-ass SUV. Like, IMMEDIATELY.

Just so you know.

We interrupt this program for a Very Special Announcement…

So, I’m all about the podsafe music, right? Because it wicked good music that is totally available for me to use in my podcasts, without worries of mean, scary lawyers coming after me to demand I pay gazillions of dollars for the use of said music in my podcasts. Which, cool? Plus, podsafe music introduced me to awesome musicians, like Black Lab and Lee Coulter and Brother Love and Adrienne Pierce and The Clintons and Rocky Votolato and Adrina Thorpe and Matthew Ebel and… good golly Miss Molly! all SORTS of other awesome musicians. And did I mention the awesome musicians? Because, if not, I’ve discovered a whole shootload of podsafe musicians! Who are awesome!

That being said, I loved the latest episode of the Mommycast Music Show (though I missed Gretchen). My BFF Paige interviewed Zarif, who is, in my totally valid opinion, an amazing vocalist/performer. Plus, super cute, right?! If her work with The Nextmen is any indication, I am so looking forward to her debut album. Oh, and I checked out the Something Got You video on YouTube and it is pretty darn brilliant. Definitely a visual pleasure, and fits the funky groove of the song perfectly. And yes, as a matter of fact I DID just say “funky groove.” What?! I can totally pull off “funky groove,” so step OFF me.

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/MQrxvDgdti4″ height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

*jealous of skillz*

Okay, Mommycast Music, you better keep me updated on Zarif’s debut album, mm’kay?

BTW: You can listen to the Mommycast Music show right there at the website, which… convenient?! You don’t need an iPod, or iTunes, or anything. (Unless you already HAVE iTunes or an iPod, in which case, go for it.) Just some speakers or earphones. Just so you know.

TechnoGeekery Show #4: On Facebook it’s always a REUNION

Woo! I got a request! I got a request! FOOYAH!

So, yeah. This week’s episode is in response to my very first official Burning Question from our very own Kelli at mycircuslife.blogspot.com.

Maybe you can help me (if not, no problemo) — My MIL is looking for a solution for a 50th reunion site. Something that would allow for password protection, but also let everyone contribute pictures and stories. I haven’t checked into any online sources about this yet. Would you know of any?

Oh, do I ever! Click on over to watch!… and learn.

TechnoGeekery Show #4: On Facebook it’s always a REUNION
OR
Subscribe at iTunes.

Labor Day: DWM Style

Well, we couldn’t let a Labor Day pass by without our annual Labor Day Video Extravaganza Ramma Lamma Bing Bang, now could we?! Okay, so it’s only the second year, but still… traditions have to start somewhere. Just sayin’.

So, without further ado… the DWM Clan unleashes their mad lip-syncing skillz on an unsuspecting public with…

Apologize by Timbaland fea. One Republic.

Yeah, baby. Sit back and enjoy. We’re taking it Old School.

Um, I don’t know what that means, really, the Old School thing, but… cool!