Uncool
September 19, 2007 · Print This Article
I can’t ever do anything the cool way.
Honestly. I couldn’t smash my hand while doing something cool or heroic, like–in a superhuman, adrenaline-fueled burst of strength–lifting a car off the bodies of a trapped mother and her three children. Oh, no. I slam my hand in my car door. Like an IDIOT. Oooh! Look at me! Miss Coordination! I can’t remember to pull my hand out of the way of a car door in time to prevent damage to my limbs! Wooooo!
It reminds me of when I was a competitive gymnast. My worst injury? Did I get it while performing a double-twisting layout during my floor exercise? No. Did I get it when my fingers slipped from the uneven bars during my giant swing? Uh-uh. Did I get it while showing a class of six-year-olds how to do a proper cartwheel? DING DING DING! We have a winner!
Or… not. Which was my point, actually.
*sigh*
Life is so unfair.
Next time I hurt myself, I darn well better be saving the life of an endangered mammal of some sort. That’s all I’m saying. You hear me, Oh Whimsical and Ironical Fate? Well?! DO YOU?!
In other news, Technogeekery Show #6: Trump Teens at Technology is up at Technogeekery.com. A big thanks to Paige from Mommycast.com for appearing as my special guest star slash expert person. You rock!
Was American Anthem like your favorite movie of all time. Oooh that Mitch Gaylord….
Shut up. American Anthem was a CLASSIC, an inspirational movie for aspiring gymnasts everywhere, with the rockin’ music… and a story… about something… and… and there was… going for the GOLD… and… and…
*remembering Gaylord in those teeny, tight black shorts and not much else*
Wait. What was I talking about?
your such a baby,
cowboy up!
Just kidding about the being a baby, but it is a good thing doors have all the safety features and such.