We Don’t Need No Education
September 24, 2007 · Print This Article
Over a Saturday morning breakfast of pancakes and eggs, I was discussing the whole Five Guys phenomenon with my kiddos–bee tee dub, awesome burgers, even Zagat says so, just so you know–and I mentioned that the five sons of the entrepreneur chose the family business over college.
“Well, if their business is making lots of money, then they can afford to go to college, right?” Hannah asked.
“Because you have to go to college to learn.” Alli added with eight-year-old conviction.
“Well, that’s not necessarily true,” I said, ever the fair and balanced educator. “You don’t need to got to college to learn. People can learn in many different ways, you know, like through reading books or gaining life experience.”
The girls, while busily stuffing their mouths with (not so dainty) bites of pancakes, were nodding their heads, as if to say, “Uh-huh… uh-huh…”
Encouraged, I took it a little further, “Don’t get me wrong, I think college is a wonderful idea, a solid investment in your future, even if you already have a successful family business or career. I’m just saying there are more ways to learn. I mean, at college you’re really just reading books and discussing what you read, anyway, but–”
“And going to parties,” Alli chimed in, matter-of-factly, before reaching for her glass and swigging her milk.
My eyes widened. The Bureau of Labor statistics I had at the ready flew out the window.
Hannah pointed a pancake-laden fork at Alli. “Yeah. And kissing boys,” she added, then popped the pancake in her mouth and chewed happily.
And with that, my lecture–all about how people with more education make more money, but college is also about developing communication, social, and logical thinking skills–stalled out before I could even bring it up to cruising speed.
I looked back and forth between my grinning eight and nine-year old daughters, who were looking at each other and nodding in a rare moment of sisterly camaraderie–envisioning frat parties and kissable college boys, no doubt! and beer! probably beer! at the parties?! with the college boys!– and there were no words. Which NEVER happens.
Then, with indisputable Because-I’m-the-momma, that’s-why! finality, I said, “Yeah, you two are so not allowed to go to college.”
Ha! Take THAT, horny little frat boys.
“Hey!” Hannah and Alli wailed in unison.
From the living room, I could hear TGIM laughing quietly.
Smart Move. Yes Smart Move.
start pricing the chastity belts
I believe this fall under the heading of what my mother calls “What goes around, comes around.” So, were you a party girl at college?
Hee!
Oh man! I swear the information did not originate from my house. The last time Kate said anything like that was in the car, when she was four and out nowhere she announced that she couldn’t wait until she was 16 so she could have a baby. Jeff nearly wrecked the car and by the time we were back on the road, she was clear on the prerequisites for having a baby. So FYI, my child did not corrupt your kids. I’m just sayin’.