Didn’t See It Coming
January 23, 2008 · Print This Article
MEMO TO FAMOUS DUDES: Drugs totally suck. No, really. And listen, I don’t care how badly life seems to blow at the moment… Cut. That. Shizz. Out. No, REALLY.
You’re breaking my heart.
That being said, R.I.P., Heath Ledger. I certainly didn’t see that one coming.
Honestly. I feel as if I’ve been shaken from a self-absorbed stupor as I deal with the sudden and forcible realization that we should never let the people we care about believe they are alone or unloved. It strikes me that often we (and by we, I mean I) are so tightly enfolded in our own loneliness or disappointment– in our pain– that we overlook– or refuse to hear– the low, distant roll of dark clouds that hover over the heads of those closest to us. Look, we think, she jokes, she laughs. She’s fine, just fine.
But that is just it! That is the thing, right there! I should know better, I should see, because I know only too well that cries for help are more often than not silent… and masked with a smile.
Hidden behind a laugh.
Buried deep within a joke.
People we care about should never feel alone or lost in the darkness rumbling overhead. We (and by we, I mean I) need to crawl out of the smothering folds of our own sorrows or misfortunes and look around us. Visit or call those who are alone or suffering. Extend encouragement and a listening ear to those who are weathering personal tempests. Offer assurance that people do care, and that they do matter, and that brighter days do indeed lie ahead. Do it. All it takes is a moment– a heartbeat, really– in the big scheme of things. Just look beyond ourselves and do it.
It might just save a life.
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
–Norman Cousins
Bravo
But sometimes it those people that are surrounded by people who love them and do offer encouragement that take their lonliness to new levels. When the words of encouragement don’t act as an umbrella against the impending storm but rather smother them altogether and occasionaly poke their eye with the one of the spokey things from the edge of the umbrella.
I’ve been pretty shaken up about Heath Ledger’s death, too, Cat, for reasons I can’t quite pinpoint. I wasn’t a huge fan or anything, I just… I don’t know. Maybe it’s because there were no warning signs - none publicized, anyway. I mean, no one would be surprised, really, to read that any one of the many celebrities who are constantly in the headlines for their partying, drinking, and drugging had OD’d. But…wow. He was just totally out of the news, and then this. So young. So talented. A life wasted. So sad.
I feel the same way LadyBug does. So very sad.
Thank you for the well-put reminder!
But in Heath’s case, I don’t think we should jump to conclusions. No one official is saying yet this is what has happened. Obviously his death is a tragedy any way about it, but I don’t think we should just assume he took it himself.
Oh, only the first part of my post was directed toward Heath Ledger. “Listen! Drugs suck! Stop using ‘em to mask the pain! It doesn’t work! HELLO?!” I have said since I first heard of his death that it was probably the result of an accidental OD.
His death simply got me thinking about how there are people out there who are in pain, or under a dark cloud, and that just because said people smile, joke, power through, that doesn’t mean I don’t need to be there for them just as much as if they were clearly saying, “Hey. This hurts. I hurt.” I think often we know, or should know, but we are so busy dealing with our own heres and nows, we let it pass by. Turn a temporarily blind eye. I simply want to be better about looking beyond myself and facing it straight on.
So, yeah. I completely agree, Kalki. I mean, if you think about it, really– I’m being totally serious here–who gets naked to off him/herself?! Seriously.
Cat,
Oh you so set up a joke there with your last sentence….
She speaks! She jokes!
C’mon William, you know I can never stay melancholically introspective for too long….
The thing is, we don’t even know yet that drugs were involved in his death, or that he was masking pain. The sort of reporting that is going on right now is a major pet peeve of mine. I have strong feelings about it, which aren’t related to your post and so don’t belong here. Maybe I’ll blog about it at my place instead.
None of this is directed at you. The point of your post is true and needed and gracefully put.
I have felt sad too–he’s not a person I imagined dying yet..I mean with some celebrities..you feel sad but think “Yeah..i can see how that happened”.. Heath Ledger is known for being very down to earth, going all over NYC with his daughter and not hiding out or acting like a movie star. From what I read he was suffering from insomnia for awhile–and sometimes I think, people are taking so many medications..for one thing or another, that they don’t fully realize what can happen with the mix. And the same mix of meds. may affect another person completely differently. On the one hand I’m sad about how celebrities really do have issues that are hard to handle for many..and also–our country as a whole–we are taking meds. for so many things..there isn’t enough communication between drs and pharmacists etc. I don’t know. Just sad and it has bothered me a lot..since hearing about his death on Tuesday.
Although I wasn’t a huge fan, I always find it sad when you see these young people pass away - especially when the leave young children behind. It hits too close to home, I think.
Nice message to folks to reach out to one another. It is so easy to get tied up in our own little worlds, but we should all keep our eyes and ears open for our neighbors, letting them know they matter.
I second Lisa’s Bravo!!!