Cheap China Balls

June 18, 2008 · Print This Article

So someone actually chatted me up, right? Using the Chat with Cat feature I added to TechnoGeekery (and DWM)?! Fellow by the name of Jim, it was. I was all helpful and stuff because dude’s audio made his voice all Gobot-like and whatnot, right? So after singing a few bars of the Transformers theme song (More than meets the eye!) and a few obligatory references to Decepticons, I sussed out that his podcast was indeed formatted in the proper, uh, format, so I was like, “Hey, I have no idea why your audio is all jacked up! Why don’t you contact Podango, yo?” and he was like, “Okay! I think I will! Thank you, Chassy Cat. You are so very awesome!” Except I may have added that last part, but who knows?! It all happened so fast, and it’s sort of fuzzy now, but I’m pretty sure he thought I was helpful and awesome because guess what? He totally emailed me to thank me and to offer some constructive technogeeky advice regarding the lighting for my oh-so-humble podcast o’ TechnoGeekery.

Unfortunately his email went straight to my Junk Mail; fortunately I often skim over said Junk Mail, so I totally caught it amongst the offers to increase my… er, girth… well, whatever!

Anyway, I SO appreciated the advice. I mean, I’ve been told before that I should look into lighting, but I was like, “Dude. No way am I spending that kind of money! That’s a whole lot of Taco Bell!” Except, I totally don’t ever eat at Taco Bell. Their beans are DEHYDRATED. As for filming TechnoGeekery, I’ve tried moving around a bit, and my best lighting has been up in my room facing the window, but the natural light can be a little too harsh. Like, “Hello, freckles! How you doin’?” But my new TechnoGeek friend suggested I forgo spending what he called “a butt load of money on studio lighting” (which, HA! he said “butt”) and invest in a type of (cheap) lighting (totally inexpensive) he called China balls (which don’t cost much money at ALL).

Apparently, China balls—those paper globes with the metal ribs and a light bulb inside—are perfect for creating natural soft light. YES. Hello softer shadows! My freckles and I thank you, TechnoGeek Jim. No, really. From the bottom of my photoprotective melanin-deprived heart. Or skin. Oh, you know what I mean.

And I mentioned the “not expensive” part, right? Like, Blue Light Special cheap? That’s all I’m saying.

So… China balls! I didn’t know that is what those were called, but my aunt had several of them hanging in her bedroom in the early 80’s, so I am familiar with them. Hmmm, come to think of it, now that I know they are generally used to create natural soft light and pleasing skin tones… well, frankly, I’m a little wigged out. I am also forcibly reminded of her totally radical boyfriend back then, however, and I suppose the need for softer lighting would come into play… boyfriend had a perm AND a ’stache! Couple that with his trendy 80’s fashion sense, and well, I’m not surprised. Honestly.

So, a big shout out to my new TechnoGeek peep, Jim! Thanks. I will definitely try to implement a new lighting arrangement as soon as I can get my hands on some cheap China balls!

Oh. Oh MY. Well that just sounds dirty. How embarrassing. I shall now call them cheap China lanterns.

Heck. I may even devote an entire TechnoGeekery episode to the benefits of cheap China ba– er, lanterns! I mean it. Ain’t technology grand?…

… Transformers! Robots in disguise! 

Ha! That never gets old.

Comments

2 Responses to “Cheap China Balls”

  1. RC on June 18th, 2008 12:00 pm

    I saw the title of this post on my google reader, and I totally got concerned over the direction your blog was heading. Because (said in my best Beavis and Butthead voice), you said, “balls.”

  2. William on June 19th, 2008 7:46 am

    Make sure you get the really big ones, because when it comes to balls size matters.

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