Stuck on the Escalator

(Disclaimer:  I do not fancy myself a surrealist with an intuitive and spontaneous understanding of the world. I don’t even believe I have a certain predisposition to recognize the surrealistic quality of my existence. It’s just that there are moments when the world is strikingly surreal. More than what I see. Or more accurately, more than what I choose to see. Okay. You have been warned.)

I am exiting the Metro station when it happens. You know, that thing that has been happening to me lately? That thing where I am struck by a moment of dreamlike clarity, where everyone and everything around me suddenly seems so real, so true, but in a way that is wholly unreal? You know? That thing?

It is the escalators. I blame them completely. Or, I suppose, I blame the people on them. As I approach the escalators I am arrested by a flash of pure light in my mind’s eye, and it is as if I am suddenly outside of myself– not me, not Cat, I just am– and an explosion of silence drowns out the hum of hurried voices, the scuffs of shoes, the sneezes and coughs. The world spins around me but I remain still, mesmerized by the view. Because the colors are bolder and brighter than before and everything is somehow bigger, larger than life. Life in High Definition.

And these people on the escalators, they aren’t moving. They aren’t stepping. They are just… standing. Staring with eyes unfocused on the gum-defaced billboards. Listening with ears plugged up with white iPod ear buds. A thinning river of humanity, standing to the right, quiet, unmoving, patient, content to effortlessly travel the straight line, up and up, propelled by unseen hydraulics along an unwavering, predestined course. Together, but so disconnected from one another that there could be miles between each of them rather than only a step. A part of the machinery, slave to hydraulic lift–

–but a passerbyer shoulders me, shatters the illusion, and it all changes. Dulls. Hums. I can just make out the tinny crackle of the loudspeakers announcing more outages on the Orange line. As a surge of newly-arrived travelers wash past me, I bow like a weed in the stream, momentarily able to withstand the rush, but knowing that despite my tenacity my immobility cannot last. I see that there is nowhere to go but up, and it occurs to me that such is life. We all move inexorably forward, up and up…

With that thought, I take a breath and charge up the escalator.

So if you happened to see a wild-eyed gal garbed in business cazsh thundering past you on the left-hand side of the escalator this morning, taking the steps two at a time, know that the wild-eyed gal was me. Because while I accept that we must move forward, up and up, how I go about getting there?

Well, that is entirely up to me.

Birthday Conversations with 10-Year-Olds

Over the phone, from Podunky Small Town AZ:

“Happy birthday, Momma! So, did you get any presents from Daddy?”

“I did. He took me shopping and bought me a pair of jeans.”

“Uh, jeans?”

“Well, they were designer jeans.”

“Oh… so he bought you fancy pantsies! Cool.”

Horrible Evil Sidekick

What? Like I could resist doing a TechnoGeekery episode about this?! Please, biznitch.

Or, you know, refrain from composing a song to Dr. Horrible…

Shut up! It’s a sickness! Enjoy.

(This is also posted at YouTube, so feel free to click over and give me some luuuuv… or a video response! Whatev.)

More Singing Along with Dr. Horrible

So, if for whatever reason– illness, family emergency, personal crisis– you haven’t yet managed to see Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, a three-act internet musical starring the super awesome Neil Patrick Harris as a blogging, low-rent super villain named Dr. Horrible, who longs to gain entrance into the Evil League of Evil and talk to the pretty girl at the laundromat, feel free to take a look-see at the sneak preview:

Teaser from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo.

Okay, so I have now seen all three Acts, and DUDE. I have Thoughts. Of course, my thoughts would be considered spoilers to any and all Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog virgins, so be warned. DO. NOT. CLICK. Unless you want to be spoiled. For real. Clicking equals No-No. Unless you’ve seen the whole thing, in which case, come on doooooown! (In other words, click on the “read more” hyperlink below… if you dare. Mwah ha ha.)

[Read more]

TechnoGeekery? Yay, technology!

Despite the heavens opening up and God saying, “I hate you, Chassy Cat!”, the latest episode of TechnoGeekery has finally clawed its way out of the jumbled mess that was my iMac hard drive and found its way to the surface.

That’s right, y’all! Despite technical difficulties that may have driven a lesser TechnoGeek even closer to the edge of mind numbingly crazy monkey madness, the technogeekery has prevailed!

TechnoGeekery Show #36:  Buying Domain Names… What’s the Point? (Part II)

See?! Yay, technology!

Now I don’t want to brag or anything, but I think this episode is just chock full of the techno tutorial goodness that is the geeky… okay, I don’t know where that was going, so let’s just say you can learn a whole lot about what to do with a domain name if you get a wild hair and buy one. Mm’kay?

Plus, I threw in the musical stylings of one Alexz Johnson for good measure. Uh, because I LOVE her?

Duh.

Enjoy. And LEARN and stuff.

Singing Along with Dr. Horrible

Okay, I fully admit I had NO IDEA that Joss Whedon had gone live with his latest project (bad Joss Whedon fan! BAD!), Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, a three-episode internet musical starring the super awesome Neil Patrick Harris as a blogging, low-rent super villain named Dr. Horrible, who longs to gain entrance into the Evil League of Evil and talk to the pretty girl at the laundromat. Seriously. No clue.

But he did.

And I had NO IDEA that if I decided to watch said super villain internet musical while, say, riding the Metro into work this morning, there would be the possibility that I might, perhaps, nearly bust a gut laughing and freak out the very nice-seeming gentleman in the army uniform sitting next to me, who might then, maybe, swiftly move across the car from me and stealthily watch me for signs of The Crazy, fully intent on taking me DOWN if need be.

But I did.

But, c’mon. By the time Captain Hammer (played by the super awesome Nathan Fillion) jumped atop the wonderflonium-filled courier van that had been hijacked by Dr. Horrible’s Horrible Van Remote application on his iPhone, I was gone. I mean, a blogging, singing super villain?! With an iPhone?! Loaded with applications of super villain evil?! How genius is that?!

Hey. You know who’s an evil genius? Joss Whedon, that’s who! Honestly. What I wouldn’t give to work with that man!

Well, probably not my first born. Or my soul. Or, you know, anything remotely dear to me. But still! I would so love to hang with the man for a day. Pick his brain. Learn his process. See how he does it. Check for signs of soul-sellage, what with his evil genius and all. Maybe take him out for a beverage of some sort. You know, geeky stuff.

Enough with the sharing. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to watch Act I, Episode I again while, perhaps, this time singing along. Because it’s Dr. Horrible’s SING-ALONG Blog, that’s why! Sheesh. Keep up.

As you were.

Have I told you lately…

… that I freaking LOVE my sweet new job?!

Um, or that I HAVE a sweet new job?! That is totally sweet?! Full o’ the awesome sweetness?!

No?

Oh. Well, I do. And it is.

Just thought I’d share.

Slings and Arrow of Outrageous Fortune and Stuff

It’s so true, what they say– and by “they” I mean people such as myself who employ hackneyed phrases when they are too beaten down by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (see?) to find more eloquent words to express a thought– it never rains but it pours. You know, like all that water pouring from a broken hose in our washing machine and pooling under our kitchen floor, ruining the floor and collapsing the ceiling below it, fortunately not maiming or injuring anybody but still really, REALLY sucking nonetheless? Because of course we needed to pay for a new washing machine? And a new floor? And a new ceiling? And then there’s that mildewy smell, which YUCK?

And did I mention that our air conditioning fritzed out recently and needed repair? And that my 24′ iMac’s hard drive just FREAKED THE HELL OUT THIS WEEKEND WITH NO WARNING WHATSOEVER I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY and totally needs to be replaced and I may not have backed up recently or– perhaps!– at all, ever?! Well, that happened, too!

Right?! RIGHT?! I’m SAYING.

On the other hand, they also say that into each life some rain must fall and that every cloud has a silver lining. And by “they” I mean stupidly optimistic people who’s lives are obviously NOT a perfect graveyard of buried hopes because they spent all the extra money they had set aside for a sweet new iPhone G3– and then some– on stupid new appliances and home repairs, and may have– perhaps!– lost their entire hard drive (on which several future episodes of TechnoGeekery may have resided) because they were– perhaps!– waiting for the 1 terabyte external hard drives to go on SALE! PERHAPS!

*deep breath*

So… yeah. And how was YOUR Fourth of July?

Lost in the Din

The office is so quiet, so hushed, but a clamor in my head pervades the stillness, not jarring, like the faint creak of a door at the edge of an afternoon nap, but incessant, like the faraway buzzing of a halogen light.

Four years. Four years they’ve gone while I’ve stayed. Four years they’ve played while I’ve worked. Four years they’ve reconnected while I’ve disconnected. Four years.

If I admit I can’t get used to this, will the restlessness subside, or will I lose myself in the din?