January 9, 2014
My, how things change! This seems to be especially true of the occasional overheard conversation, what with three high-schoolers in the house and all.
Toto, we aren’t in grade school anymore.
Overheard conversation amongst my kiddos yesterday afternoon (names redacted to protect the innocent freaking weirdos I’ve raised):
Kiddo 1: Hey. Why is picking your nose not considered socially acceptable?
Kiddo 2: I wasn’t picking my nose!
Kiddo 1: I’m only saying.
Kiddo 2: Whatever. Did you know you can use this thing called Gizoogle to search for information in ghetto? No, seriously! Give me a word.
Kiddo 1: Flower. I mean, everyone picks their nose, right?
Kiddo 2: Flower? Okay.
Kiddo 3: Our bus driver picks his nose. It is not attractive.
Kiddo 1: Your bus driver is not attractive.
Kiddo 3: Good point.
Kiddo 2: Okay, here we go. Flower… or did you mean to say “funky-ass bloom blossom”?
Kiddo 1: Wait, what?
Kiddo 2: That’s flower, according to Wikipizzle!
Kiddo 3: Heh. Wikipizzle.
Kiddo 1: I’m just saying it seems weird for it to be such a big deal. “Oooh, look! That bro’s picking his nose! Oooh!”
Kiddo 3: Wikipizzle, fo’ shizzle!
Kiddo 1: Am I wrong?
Kiddo 2: Yep. Hashtag gizoogle – fo’ all y’all biotches who wanna find shiznit!
Kiddo 3: It just LOOKS gross, that’s probably why.
Kiddo 1: Still.
Kiddo 2: Let’s try rabbit now. Rabbit… lil’ ass muth… okay, well that’s just inappropriate.
Momma: Good lord! Don’t you guys have homework to do?
Frantic typing, then-
Kiddo 2: Nope. Our mackdaddies dint assign homework fo’ da huslas.
Giggles all around.
Momma: Okay, enough! Just step away from the computer and go outside for a bit.
Momma: And don’t forget to stop and smell the funky-ass bloom blossoms while you’re at it!
My family, ladies and gentlemen.