Glass Half-Full of Awesome?

February 12, 2014

So, on the one hand, I’m so very happy (yay!) that my awesome high-school-aged teens still enjoy my company enough to want me to accompany them to an actual theater full of actual people to see an awesome family-friendly movie they’ve been wanting to see (take that, TGIM!). Because that is awesome, right?! So awesome! The awesomest? (Yay?) Kids + Momma + Movie = Awesome!

On the other hand, I’m slowly being driven insane by the incessantly ebullient “Everything is Awesome” song lyrics that I CANNOT. GET. OUT. OF. MY HEAD. Yes. The most cheerfully awesome mind-numbing earworm EVER in the history of the known awesome UNIVERSE! I am not even joking. You think I am, but I am soooo not.

Damn you, Lego Movie! DAMN you.

(FYI: It was awesome.)

Awkward Moments

February 6, 2014

Wait. So it’s NOT Bring Your Doll to Work Day?!

Bring Your Doll to Work Day

Well. This is embarrassing.

Ice Fear. It’s a Thing.

February 5, 2014

Driveway Ice Rink

Driveway Ice Rink

Aaah! An ice storm created an ice skating rink out of our driveway. No WAY am I stepping foot outside until it melts, I tell you what! Hey. My ice fear isn’t completely irrational, if you know the whole story of what happened to me nearly 6 years ago, almost to the day:

Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up! (Feb 13, 2008)

In my defense, I was pretty hopped up on drugs when I wrote that entry. I’m just saying I may have been a little loopy at the time. Perhaps. Probably.

Just so you know.

Help! I’m LOST!

August 20, 2013

Confession: Up until two weeks ago, I had never, ever watched an episode of Lost. Not one. Unless you count that one time years ago when Paige made me watch an episode with her, which I don’t, because it was like, the middle of season 5 or something and let’s face it– even with her stellar running commentary to guide me I had NO FREAKING IDEA what the hell was going on. I mean, honestly. What. The. Hell?

(Seriously. Are they in hell? NO! Don’t tell me! DON’T TELL ME! But is it hell? Seems like hell. Or purgatory. Or limbo. I need to brush up on my theology. But don’t tell me.)

It wasn’t a conscious choice on my part to shun the show or anything. No, indeed. I just hadn’t seen it from the beginning, so I missed out on a lot of the culture. You know how it is. Then I heard talk of polar bears and hatches and a bald dude named Locke– which, intriguing?– but by the time season three rolled around I was feeling super stubborn and just didn’t feel like being a joiner.

(Seriously. Why is there a polar bear in hell? I’m only asking. Wait! NO! Don’t tell me! It’s probably not even hell. I’m just spitballing here…)

So I totes missed the boat.

(Get it? Missed the BOAT? Like, “Yay! A boat! We’re saved! Just joking, evil people are going to steal our babies and shoot us and blow up our handmade boat! Nooooo!”?)

Then? THEN?! Along comes Netflix, with all the seasons of Lost, just right there, and BOOM. I’ve spent the past several evenings yelling “What the WHAT?!” and “Sawyer sucks!” and “OMG! What?! Just?! HAPPENED?!” and “Michael! NOOOO!!” at my TV. My throat hurts, my kids think I’m crazy(er), my dreams are FUNKY, but I can’t stop watching. For reals.

(Okay. It’s hell or an alternate dimension. I’m just saying. This is J.J. Abrams, after all. Hey. I’ve seen Alias. I’ve seen Fringe. Dude lives for that stuff. But DON’T TELL ME! Don’t even.)

So… tonight I’m watching the Season 2 finale. It’s a two-parter! Woot! There will be popcorn and chocolate treats involved! And a beverage of some sort! I hope Michael dies! Because he KILLED Libby! Hurley’s LIBBY! And Ana Lucia! Also, so I don’t have to hear “Waaaalt! Waaaaaaaalt!” anymore! Good LORD, man. S that D! Shut it down.

I know, I know. I need help, y’all. I’m utterly, irrevocably Lost.

Edited to add: TD is watching with me, and what with me asking him, “What just happened?! Huh?! No! Don’t tell me!” and punching him in the arm at the end of each episode yelling “WHAT?!”, I’m fairly certain it’s his favorite time with me ever! Yep. We’re building memories here.

We’re Weird and We Know It and We Ain’t Afraid to Show It

May 31, 2012

Involuntary response triggered by a conversation overheard between two weird manga characters on some Japanese anime television series my kiddos were watching… and I realize now that saying “weird” and “manga characters” is redundant, but I will move on because I don’t want to be judgey, although have you SEEN any Japanese anime television series based on manga? Because, weird. Not that I’m judging.

DORORO to SERGEANT KERORO (on the TV):  Hey! I’ve got passion!

CAT (without looking up from book): In my pants!  And I ain’t afraid to show it!

MACK: Oh, Mom.

CAT: (book down now) –show it, show it–

ALLI:  Momma, no!

CAT: I’m sexy and I know it! (up and dancing now) Girl look at that body! Uh! Girl look at that body! UH!

MACK: This is just embarrassing.

CAT: (shaking that bootay) Girl look at that body! UH!

GIRLS: MOM!

CAT: Ah… I work out!

Silence.

CAT (sits down again):  What?! It’s a song about exercise. GOSH.

More silence. Then–

MACK: No. Don’t do it, Mom.

ALLI: Seriously, Momma. Don’t–

CAT:  Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah!

ALLI and MACK (no longer fighting it): Do the wiggle man! I do the wiggle man! Yeah!

CAT and GIRLS: I’m sexy and I know it!

Irrational impulse satisfactorily acted upon, I returned to my book and the girls went back to their show. Because that’s just how we roll at the DWM home.

 

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