July 30, 2013
I just received a mysterious text message from TGIM.
TGIM: i just kerf
Okay. I’m not really sure what a kerf is, but I hope it’s something fun! Because TGIM deserves a little fun in his life. He’s such a great guy, and a–
–wait, here’s another!
TGIM: left 🙁
July 25, 2013
DWM 2.0. Coming soon, to a blog near you.
Huh. That announcement sounded way flashier in my head.
But you know what I mean, Internet. YOU know.
May 21, 2013
TD: “Mom, can you help me make holi dye?”
TGIM: “Son, you can’t murder Holly! That would be wrong.”
Who passed on the quirky drive-by randomness gene? Mystery solved.
December 25, 2010
July 30, 2010
(Here’s the what: I just found this lost post. Yep. From, like, a year and a half ago. So WAY late to the party! Still, I’d forgotten this whole conversation, so I thought I’d better post it! You know, for posterity’s sake? So… okay. That’s that.)
After attending a friend’s Bar Mitzvah, Tanner came home chock full of wild stories of crazy chair dances and professional DJs and AWESOMELY delicious food and, oh yeah, how much freaking MONEY his friend scored when he turned thirteen. Because money is a BIG DEAL. I mean, think! That is a WHOLE LOT of Pokemon! Am I right? Huh? Am I right?
Tanner’s sisters were (to put it mildly) super impressed, all “Nuh-uh! NUH-UH!” and “No FAIR!” And Alli? I can only imagine she’s been giving the matter of Bar Mitzvah’s tons of thought, as evidenced by a recent conversation.
Alli had been sitting in my room with me as I read, an unusual, pensive moodiness about her. Suddenly, she broke the silence. “You know, if Tanner were Jewish,” she said conversationally, “he’d be totally rich right now.”
Tanner overheard. “I know, right?” he replied.
Alli shrugged a little “Well That’s That” kind of shrug and lapsed back into her broody silence.
I looked at my youngest daughter with my “Really? That’s That?” kind of look, but she didn’t notice. She was lost in her thoughts, her brows deeply furrowed behind her glasses. And those thoughts? Those she was lost in? Were some seriously mercenary thoughts, it turns out.
“We need our own coming of age ceremony!” she burst out a few moments later.
Tanner perked up at that. Because, hello? Money? And professional DJs?! And chair dancing?! And MONEY?!
Noticing Tanner’s interest, Alli began to expatiate on her totally BRILLIANT idea. “We could call it a… a… a Har Litzfah!” she said, her eyes dreamy and distant, “And we would… um… tell jokes instead of reading scriptures! And people would give us MONEY for being FUNNY! Because HAR Litzvah?! Like har har har?!” She clapped her hands, reveling in her brilliance.
And I was all, “Ooooh! Pun SNAP!” and there was a giving and receiving of high-fives all around.
In other news, that inappropriate-yet-impossible-to-resist punning thing? Totally genetic.
(Har Litzfah. Good Lord.)