Mom, Your Freudian Slip is Showing

So, I’m just going to say it.

I hate FarmVille. HATE! IT! Oh, ho ho, yes I DID just go there! Fiery passion? A thousand suns?! You know the drill.

Honestly. With its never-ending stream of Facebook updates– all the lost sheep and queen bees and stupid strawberry markets, which is not to even mention all the crazy talk about a bushel and a peck of baby corn and whatnot. It’s insanity! Sheer craziness! I mean, it’s no POKEMON, people! Good LORD! You can’t even battle other farmers or evolve your livestock into exciting new breeds of super strong livestock! That can FLY and stuff!

I mean, think about it. You’re essentially working a farm (key word being “working”) for fake money and experience points in your downtime (and don’t think we don’t notice those 4 AM status updates, weirdos). Working! During downtime! For no fiscal remuneration whatsoever. And you can’t even travel around FarmVille on your special flying Pikachu!

Well. That makes the kind of sense that… DOESN’T. I’m only saying.

(And if my kiddos happen to say I was up at 4 AM this morning downloading a special Mew Pokemon Mystery Gift to my DS from Nintendo Wi-Fi, well I WORK so I am up early anyway and they are totally lying, clearly, and I will punish them when I get home. You know. Because of the lying?)

Okay. All that said… c’mon, Mom. Admit it.

This? This right here?!

Well, it’s small moments such as this that make it all TOTALLY worth it.

Fall Premiere Season? ROCKS.

At 12:00 p.m.:

What the…?! Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries premiered last night?! Dude! At the risk of sounding geeky… okay, I’m PSYCHED.

At 1:15 p.m.:

OH. EM. GEE. Thank you, iTunes! Also, good LORD! That?! That was awesome.

Game on, indeed.

It’s Genetics. Do You SEE?!

(Here’s the what:  I just found this lost post. Yep. From, like, a year and a half ago. So WAY late to the party! Still, I’d forgotten this whole conversation, so I thought I’d better post it! You know, for posterity’s sake? So… okay. That’s that.)

After attending a friend’s Bar Mitzvah, Tanner came home chock full of wild stories of crazy chair dances and professional DJs and AWESOMELY delicious food and, oh yeah, how much freaking MONEY his friend scored when he turned thirteen. Because money is a BIG DEAL. I mean, think! That is a WHOLE LOT of Pokemon! Am I right? Huh? Am I right?

Tanner’s sisters were (to put it mildly) super impressed, all “Nuh-uh! NUH-UH!” and “No FAIR!” And Alli? I can only imagine she’s been giving the matter of Bar Mitzvah’s tons of thought, as evidenced by a recent conversation.

Alli had been sitting in my room with me as I read, an unusual, pensive moodiness about her. Suddenly, she broke the silence. “You know, if Tanner were Jewish,” she said conversationally, “he’d be totally rich right now.”

Tanner overheard. “I know, right?” he replied.

Alli shrugged a little “Well That’s That” kind of shrug and lapsed back into her broody silence.

I looked at my youngest daughter with my “Really? That’s That?” kind of look, but she didn’t notice. She was lost in her thoughts, her brows deeply furrowed behind her glasses. And those thoughts? Those she was lost in? Were some seriously mercenary thoughts, it turns out.

“We need our own coming of age ceremony!” she burst out a few moments later.

Tanner perked up at that. Because, hello? Money? And professional DJs?! And chair dancing?! And MONEY?!

Noticing Tanner’s interest, Alli began to expatiate on her totally BRILLIANT idea. “We could call it a… a… a Har Litzfah!” she said, her eyes dreamy and distant, “And we would… um… tell jokes instead of reading scriptures! And people would give us MONEY for being FUNNY! Because HAR Litzvah?! Like har har har?!” She clapped her hands, reveling in her brilliance.

And I was all, “Ooooh! Pun SNAP!” and there was a giving and receiving of high-fives all around.

In other news, that inappropriate-yet-impossible-to-resist punning thing? Totally genetic.

(Har Litzfah. Good Lord.)

America, We Salute You (Rhett and Link Style)

God bless America. And the Fallen Founding Fathers of the Freelance Fireworks Hall of Fame.

Amen.

Am I Psyched? Chuck Yes!

I may or may not be super excited that a certain television show that I love oh-so-much will once more be on my TV this evening. Maybe. Not that the Olympics weren’t AWESOME and all (you know, from what I hear), but guys? GUYS?!

CHUCK! IS! BACK!

Yes! It is absolutely true. I mean, today is March 1, so, there you go. It IS March 1, right? RIGHT?!

Right.

I don’t want to come on too geeky, but… okay, I’m psyched!

Check it.

*happy dance*

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