February 12, 2014
So, on the one hand, I’m so very happy (yay!) that my awesome high-school-aged teens still enjoy my company enough to want me to accompany them to an actual theater full of actual people to see an awesome family-friendly movie they’ve been wanting to see (take that, TGIM!). Because that is awesome, right?! So awesome! The awesomest? (Yay?) Kids + Momma + Movie = Awesome!
On the other hand, I’m slowly being driven insane by the incessantly ebullient “Everything is Awesome” song lyrics that I CANNOT. GET. OUT. OF. MY HEAD. Yes. The most cheerfully awesome mind-numbing earworm EVER in the history of the known awesome UNIVERSE! I am not even joking. You think I am, but I am soooo not.
Damn you, Lego Movie! DAMN you.
(FYI: It was awesome.)
May 26, 2012
The Avengers. Proof positive that my steadfast love of all things Joss Whedon has never been unfounded.
Honestly. I think I may even– perhaps!– like Scarlett Johansson again. Hey. I’m as surprised as you are.
Yep. Validation. Tastes good.
May 15, 2012
Okay, so, Nicholas Sparks’ The Lucky One? I take it Zac Efron has finally broken free from his days as the happy-go-lucky dancing jock boy of Disney’s High School Musical and become a freaking MAN? Yes? Because have you SEEN this? Have you?! And also? I hear there’s a (shhhhh…) sex scene.
I’m not going to lie. I’m a little freaked out right now.
Because it’s no secret that there was a time– a brief moment!–when I was somewhat fond of High School Musical. For the children, obviously. Some might say I leaned less towards “fond” and much, much more towards “obsessed,” but it’s okay because I totally nipped it in the BUD. Whatever. It was a sickness, y’all. Yes, a SICKNESS, so stop with the judging. (Judgers! Judgers!) But hello?… there was a Bop to the Top dancing tutorial! And they were all so CUTE! And the music was so CATCHY! Shut up! It’s true! It is! I don’t care!
And now I can’t even go see Nicholas Sparks’ latest movie featuring a misunderstood character with a dead lover, or amnesia, or an amnesiac lover that is dying, or whatever. I can’t do it. Not now. It’s just too upsetting.
Because this? Is so NOT the cute little Troy Bolton I remember. See?
Nope. Not even a little bit.
Thanks for the cognitive dissonance, Nicholas Sparks! GOSH.
Ohmygawsh! Warner Bros. thought it would be fun to create a flash app thingy that lets you put yourself in the poster for The Lucky One.
No, for real.
Honestly. Not helping, WB.
February 5, 2010
Whoa. Stop the presses. (Vicki Vale, Vick-V-Vicki Vale!) How did this happen?! This NEVER happens! I fell asleep before 9:00 PM?! What the…?! Okay, I blame this anomaly on exhaustion stemming from bad bedtime choices. But let’s not point fingers, GOSH. Everyone just settle down!
In any event, my bedside clock tells me it’s two in the morning and, hello? I’m wide awake. WIDE. AWAKE. Aaaaand now I can’t seem to get “Batdance” out of my head, thanks a WHOLE LOT, “Chuck” and Prince!
(This town needs an enema!)
Oooh, I say donut run! Donuts! Dunkin Donuts is open 24 hours, right? Just gotta grab my Uggs and some cash…. gotta beat the snow storm and whatnot… it’s just down the road, no one will even miss me… mmmm, cinnamon cake donuts…
As it turns out, sleep deprivation? Not my friend. Clearly.
December 11, 2008
While watching The Miracle on 34th Street— not the TOTALLY awesome 1947 version starring Natalie Wood and Maureen O’Hara, but the disappointing 1994 remake with Richard Attenborough, who, BTW, I cannot watch without remembering his turn as Jacob in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and shouting– er, singing, “Jacob! Jacob and sons!” because AWESOME MUSICAL?!– the ever romantical Allison rushed to the defense of Bryan Bedford, played prettily by Dylan McDermott, after he proposed to Dorey Walker and she freaking SHOT HIM DOWN in the street like Atticus did to rabid old Tim Johnson, except not with a gun or bullets, but figuratively, or the show would have ended WAY differently, you know what I’m saying?
In response to Dorey’s unbelievably harsh “Have I ever done anything to give you the impression I wanted to marry you?” speech– which, Dorey, have you met Dylan McDermott?! Good LORD, woman! Are you INSANE?! He has, like, the DREAMIEST EYES ever! And the HAIR?! Hello?!– Allison turned to me, her misty eyes glittering behind her glasses.
“What?!” she cried. “She DID give him the impression she wanted to marry him! She DID! I mean, she kissed him”– she paused for emphasis– “ON! THE! LIPS! Like, mmmwah, mwahmm!”– here she made out with her hand a bit, which was a little disconcerting, let me tell you– “and she held his HAND, and… and… she went on a DATE with him!” She threw her arms in the air, obviously disgusted with Dorey’s loose moral standards. “Right, Momma? Right?!” she asked– rhetorically, I hope, because I was too busy trying not to giggle to answer– then she folded her arms across her chest with a little “hmmph!” and turned back to the movie.
Granted, the Dorey character does lose a little in translation, making this scene even harder to take, because, again, woman, do you not see the DREAMY EYES?! Come on! Plus, a single mom– not a widow, but a *gasp* divorcee!– trying to make it in the 1940’s business world was playing in an entirely different ballgame than today’s single working mom. Where Maureen O’Hara’s Doris was sympathetic as a realist trying to raise her daughter to accept the hard facts of life that would have been relevant to a single working mom at that time, modern Dorey’s mopeyness and glacial heart made me think, “Dude, a little Lexapro would be a Miracle on 34th Street for THAT lady, I tell you what.”
So, for a second I wasn’t sure if I should explain to my nine-year-old daughter that, in all honesty, smooching and hand-holding and dating aren’t quite the binding evidence of True Love she apparently thinks them to be, so TECHNICALLY the spurned luvah’s proposal was both arrogant and presumptuous (but, dreamy eyes?!), or if I should just let it go.
“I know, right?” I agreed, folding my arms across my chest in solidarity and cross disapproval. “Shocking.”