The Wonkerers *updated

(If the video below doesn’t work for you, click HERE for some serious Wonkerering.)

We weren’t allowed to video tape TD’s musical, Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka, (what is UP with that?! HUH?!) but hey! Who needs to tape the show from waaaaay back in the audience, when one’s kiddos have memorized the whole darn thing anyway, and commandeer the family computer for an afternoon to capture the entire show– up close and personal– for posterity? Not me, that’s who!

So, yeah. I have no actual tape of Tanner performing on stage as Charlie, but I have him (and his sisters) performing every other role in the musical– with FEELING, no less… so FOOYAH!

Yup. Feel free to take a quick peek at what it’s been like at MY house for the past five months.

Enjoy.

You Did It, Charlie!

Not to brag, but a certain desperate working momma’s son was sensationally awesome as Charlie Bucket in a certain Willy Wonka Jr. musical at a certain elementary school!

Hey. I call it like I see it.

Okay, but tonight? I’m bringing the GOOD camera!

Think Positive

Is it normal for me to be MORE nervous than TD? He’s the one singing all of Charlie Bucket’s songs and performing all of Charlie Bucket’s lines in the 6th grade Willy Wonka Jr. musical tonight! It’s out of control!

I’m a wreck, that’s what I am… A wreck, I say!

Aaaaaand TD just rushed by me, belting out “Think Positive,” complete with wild gesticulations that I certainly hope are a part of the choreography. Because if not? EMBARRASSING.

“You’ve nothing to lose so why not choose to think positive?”

Well all righty then. I’m off to the show.

And TD? Break a leg, kid.

Legendary Music Video

Okay, so I created this song using my mad Garageband skillz… also, by using a Media Converter to grab the karaoke version of the song off YouTube, but whatever. Still cool!

A legendary music video is in the works. I’m hoping to enter it in a contest and win some sweet prizes. Because I’m a huge geek?

Enjoy!

Or not. Whatev.

(BTW: Any thoughts on how to MAKE said Legendary Music Video would be much appreciated! I’m envisioning RockBand instruments… oh, AND a strobe light. Because, AWESOME?)

Street Cred

Crap.

I may have just been spotted–at work!–air guitaring along with the (wicked awesome) song playing on my iPod.

Hey! I can’t help it! The music is in my SOUL, so kindly step OFF me, yo?

Well. This can’t be good for my street cred with the urban cubicleland demographic.

TechnoGeekery Show #14: Podsafe Music… Pump Up the Volume!

Remember when Christian Slater was hawt? You know, like in Heathers? Oooh, and in Pump Up the Volume?! The 1990 dramady about rebellious quasi-political teens working out their angst via underground radio?! So they could Talk Hard?! ‘Member?! Do ya?!

Really? Cool.

And that’s what we in the biz call a “teaser”… because a new TechnoGeekery vidcast is up:

TechnoGeekery #14: Podsafe Music… Pump Up the Volume!

And while Christian Slater may not make an actual appearance, Chassy Cat may have an emotional Mary Katherine Gallagher monologue moment or two during this particular podcast. Perhaps. I’m just saying. It could happen.

Superstar!!

Oh, Snap!

Allison dragged me over to the dream home she had constructed for her Polly Pocket using an empty paper box, a pair of heavy duty scissors, assorted colored pencils, and some seriously stellar eight-year-old ingenuity.

“Momma, look, ” she instructed, flourishing at the box with a red colored pencil she had evidently put to work covering the outside of Polly’s new home with meticulously crafted bricks. “Check it out!”

Mentally tallying how many hours before TGIM tripped over Polly’s dream home one too many times and condemned it to tear down status, I said, “Ooh, uh-huh.” Hey! With motherly pride! Step off me!

“Well?” she asked, her face lit with eagerness and pride in ownership. “What do you think of Polly Pocket’s new briiiiiiiiiick… hooouuuuse?”

I ruffled her hair playfully. “It’s mighty mighty,” I replied, almost without thought. “Now Polly can let it all hang out.”

We stood there, mother and daughter, admiring Polly Pocket’s Dream Home in artistic and Motown solidarity. After a moment we went our separate ways, each of us humming and singing “She’s a briiiiiick… hoooouse…” under our breath and jiving to the beat. What can I say?

That’s just how we roll at the DWM house.

A Special Holiday Message

( I couldn’t let this beautiful season pass without expressing a heartfelt message of holiday cheer. So… yah. Here it is. Music in this podcast provided by the Podsafe Music Network, with Santa Claus is Coming to Town by Dokken. Yes, I said DOKKEN.)

Ha, ha, ha! Merry Christmas, everyone! HA, HA, HA!

Oh… didn’t you hear? In Australia, street Santas are being encouraged to replace “ho ho ho!” with “ha ha ha!” You know, because all that deep “ho ho ho!”-ing scares the children? Not to mention the blatant sexist connotations inherent in the traditional phraseology?

Then again, potentially any large man in a red velvet suit with a scraggly white beard could scare the everlovin’ bejeebies out of a child, especially when said child is coerced into sitting on the man’s lap while “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake!” blares in the background.

But that is totally beside the point. Belting out “ho ho ho!” at all those unsuspecting children? All they want is a candy cane, after all. That could damage a child’s psyche, that’s all I’m saying.

Yup. Leave it to Oz to straighten out Santa Claus and his Eurocentric, closed-minded, rigid value judgments. I mean, ‘ho’? And what about ‘naughty’ and ‘nice’? Hello? Who is he to say?! Huh? This is the 21st century, Santa. We don’t burden children with labels that could damage their self-esteem. We prefer “obedience-challenged” or “potentially disruptive on a large scale.” And EVERYONE gets a present. But I digress.

So, the family and I just finished singing a rousing chorus of ‘Rudolph the Differently-abled Reindeer-American,’ which is one of our favorite Holiday Ballads of Strictly Secular Joy. Those are always fun this time of year! Good times!

Aw, I kid. Kidding! My family and I are in fact quite full of the holiday spirit and are feeling extraordinarily thankful for the blessings we have received this year.

Speaking of blessings…

Top Ten Lambson Moments of 2007

10. Buying Guitar Hero and rocking out as a family. Need I say more?

9. Allison discovering acronyms, and-after hearing that I made bran muffins-skipping along behind me and happily yelling out for all the neighborhood to hear “Yay! Mom, Come on! Let’s go eat a BM!”

8. Hannah telling Tanner she loved him, just out of the blue, then-after Aaron and I finished cooing, “Aw!” and “How sweet!”-shrugging and admitting, “Yeah… that was an awkward moment.”

7. Breaking up with American Idol so we could have those three nights per week of our lives back.

6. Making wedding videos and Public Service Announcement vidcasts with the kiddos. Just for the heck of it.

5. Hannah yelling, “Momma! Swinging with the wind rushing over my toes is my favorite way to swing! (flinging hair as if she were the Breck Girl) With the wind in my hair!… While wearing a skort!”

4. Allison proudly showing off her new gerbil, then announcing, “One of them I thought had babies, but it was actually only his tentacles.” Then, after our explosion of laughter, insisting, “No! I’m not kidding, guys! Those tentacles were HUGE!”

3. Scoring an interview with actor Michael Muhney (AKA: Sheriff Lamb)-from my favorite TV show Veronica Mars-for my sleeper hit vidcast, Veronica Mars REWIND, (Michael Muhney says I “rock”… Booyah!)

2. Tanner auditioning for and WINNING the lead part of Charlie in his school’s musical production of Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka.

1. Crawling into bed at the end of the day and cuddling up with a novel, smooshed between my kiddos–smelling of playground sweat and sunshine–eagerly devouring novels of their own, the only sound the whisper of turning pages, the rustle of blankets, and occasional bursts of laughter followed by silly passages read aloud for all to enjoy. No television. No phone. No computer. No radio. Just my kids and me tucked away from the world, immersed in worlds of our own… together.

And I mean this… happy holidays, y’all.

TechnoGeekery Quickie #4: iTunes… an Analogy

Hey! Hey! Head on over to TechnoGeekery! Hey! There’s a new Quickie! Hey! And there is singing! And ANALOGIES! Good ones!

And, hey… did I mention the singing? Yep. I composed some original tunes and debuted them on my vidcast. I know, right? Sweet.

What can I say? I am ALL about the giving this holiday season. And my analogizin’ skillz coupled with the guitarin’ and singin’ and whatnot? Well, that’s just my little gift to you.

TechnoGeekery Quickie #4: iTunes… an Analogy

Oh. No need to thank me. It was my pleasure.

The Blue Sparkly Dress and TechnoGeekery

And I mean this… CUTE. Aaaaaw. The infamous Blue Sparkly Dress. Sewed by Grandma Sue and the cause of much joy and contention amongst my kiddos. Oh, the good times Tanner had in that dress…! But that is a story for another time.Regardless, I repeat… so, SO cute. I’ve been on a digi-scrapping spree for the past week or so, frantically scrambling to get some super-duper top-secret Christmas presents taken care of, and this is the result of my practice removing picture backgrounds using the”Instant Alpha” feature in iWork Pages. I tell you what, y’all… digi-scrapping? Totally addictive! NOT. KIDDING. Nope. Not even one little bit of kid. Er, -ding. Kidding.Also, a new TechnoGeekery Quickie is up:TechnoGeekery Quickie #3: Reach Out and iPod Touch SomeoneThere is good music! By Waltham! The band! For real! Check it OUT!Phew. I’m exhausted from all that exclaiming.

Wizards in Winter Equals Good Times For ALL! (except possibly the neighbors…)

I know many of you have already seen this, but it’s so amazing to watch! Honestly. Who can CREATE something like this? I mean, stringing Christmas lights alone is a daunting task, but this…?Amazing. Enjoy!

Confessions of a Desperate Working Momma

I was once banned– that’s right, I said BANNED–from the TWoP boards for one teensy tiny moment of indiscretion–moments after the season four finale of American Idol–in which I may or may not have–I’m not sure, it’s all so hazy now–POSSIBLY suggested that all the Carrie Underwood haters just go ahead and SUCK IT. I know, right? What’s up with THAT?! Give a gal a break, yo? I was understandably carried away in the moment! I think! Again with the haziness! Honestly. And I liked my old TWoP user name, too. You don’t just come by sweet user names like that one every day, that’s all I’m saying. I mean, how wickedly cool is the na– well, my super cool, now unfairly defunct TWoP user name so isn’t the point. Whatever.

Ahem.

Then what IS my point? Oh! Yes! I have one!

Carrie Underwood haters? SUCK IT!

Hoo!

Aaah, the sweet, unmoderated freedom of blogging…

Feels GOOOOOOOD.

But I WANT a Chocolate Teapot!

In a conversation this morning I instinctively used the idiom, “Perhaps you could put a bug in her ear about pushing those papers through clearance.” And then I was like, “Ew.” Because the bug? In the ear? What’s that all about?

It’s a phrase without rhyme and reason, that’s all I’m saying!

In any event, there is a new episode of TechnoGeekery up at TechnoGeekery.com. Yep! You heard it right from the horse’s mouth. I’m not saying you to need to go hell for leather to check out the vidcast, I’m just saying you don’t want to be a day late and a dollar short.

I have to admit that lately I’ve been paralyzed with indecision. I’ve been so afraid I would drop the ball and let down my TechnoGeeks that this vidcasting thing has almost become an albatross around my neck. On the one hand, I knew that he who hesitates is lost. But then I remembered that haste makes waste. Eventually I chose to stick to my game plan, although I did change things up a bit. That’s right… we’re going on a FIELD TRIP!

Keep in mind that unasked Burning Techno Questions are as much use to me as a chocolate teapot. So get your ducks in a row and drop me a line, for goodness Pete’s sake.

DWM Internet Outage, Day 10

OR

“I Hate Verizon with a Flaming Passion.” Whichever.

That being said…

PNME 2007 concert
Originally uploaded by Scott Stys

Man. Paige and I frakkin’ KNOW how to work the booty voodoo, I tell you what. (Sorry, no video… yet. Ooooh! That’s what you call a teaser, y’all!)

Why, yes I DO realize we are big dorks. Why do you ask?

*sigh*

And HA!

Lee Coulter totally loves my booty shaking.

Okay, so highlight of my trip out to Cali? Where I travelled to network and generally Pimp My TechnoGeekery Vidcast at the PNME? Watching Lee Coulter perform Booty Voodoo (and all his other songs o’ course) LIVE, that’s what! So Paige and I could get down. You know, with the booty shaking and whatnot?

Obviously, we made an impression.

“Keep Shaking Da Booty”

Strangely enough, one time all the girls DO say, “Ho!”

Hey. This love ain’t for the faint-hearted.

(More to come…)

Flight of the Conchords: Talking About the Issues…

… but keeping it funky!

Sorry. I couldn’t resist sharing one more. Call it my weekend present to you, mm’kay? Honestly. They’re the Neo-Smothers Brothers! Not that anyone under… um, a certain age that is way older than me… even knows what the heck I mean by that, but I can’t help it if I am preternaturally hip to the comedy duos of the 60’s.

The actual song starts at around 2:32, but the conversation beforehand is quite funny. And, incidentally, the conversation after the song is hilarious, and could conceivably be Michael Scott’s– of The Office– dream come true. And if you get what I mean by that, then we should totally be BFF’s. For real. ‘Cause you GET me.

Bring Back the Funny. Please?

So, after a colossally underwhelming, seriously sucky weekend (though I’m sure it was all hugs and puppies in comparison to poor Britney Spears’ trainwreck of a weekend, but focus…), capped off by a horrendous Monday morning (there was this whole thing with a spider of enormous proportions, and then some recklessly itinerant sprinklers– don’t ask), something happened yesterday that finally brought back the funny. Seriously. Cracked me right up. I laughed right out loud and e’rything.

It began when TGIM grabbed his car keys from the table and announced to the family in general, “I’m going to Sears.”

“Why?” I asked. Because when TGIM voluntarily commits himself to braving the mall, there is invariably a compelling why. “Do we need a tool? Or an appliance of some sort?” I mentally inventoried the utility closet.

TGIM shrugged. “Nah. I just haven’t been in a while.”

Okay. Sure.

Wait. What now?

He looked around at the kids, who stood with their Okay, mister, what have you done with my father? eyes trained warily upon him. “So… who wants to come with Daddy to Sears?!”

Huh. He was serious.

Poor darlings. The kiddos looked to me for guidance, but I simply shrugged, still puzzling over TGIM’s sudden shopping compulsion. Plus, I was trying to remember if we needed vacuum filters or not (because, if he was going)… which, not, thanks to TGIM’s Great Sears Shopping Spree of ‘06. Boy rocked the sale, yo?

TD and Hannah agreed to go, no doubt hoping for a chance to hit EB Games for a little one-on-one time with the Wii.

Not funny yet? I know! Patience! Good lord. Let a gal set the stage, will you? Sheesh.

Where was I? Ah, yes. The mall excursion.

So they left, and I took advantage of this windfall of Quiet Time by running upstairs to put the finishing touches on my TechnoGeekery podcast.

Still not funny? I know! I’m almost there! Stop interrupting.

After a few hours–oh, yes, I said HOURS–I heard the front door open, and Hannah burst into the house. How do I know it was Hannah? Because she was singing. And what was she singing?

Ah! Pay attention! This is the part where it gets funny! Although I probably just ruined it by telling you it was funny! Which is like explaining the joke! Which makes it un-funny! But whatever!

TGIM must have been listening to My Chemical Romance in the car because Hannah was singing Teenagers at the top of her lungs. As she thundered up the stairs, I sat frozen, mentally cursing TGIM for his indiscriminate song selection while Children Were Listening.

Until, that is, my girlie burst into my room belting out the chorus, “…’they! say! now! teenagers scare the little sheep out of me! Duh da da da dah…’– oh, hi, Momma, whatcha doin’?”

And that, my friends, is the exact moment when life brought back the funny.

Flight of the Conchords: Just For Fun

Why? Because I’ve had a bad, horrible day. And they make me laugh. Right out loud. I mean, they are New Zealand’s fourth most popular folk parody duo. Says HBO, anyway. I bet they’re, like, number two now. At LEAST.

Business Time

“I turn it into a sexy dance…” Classic.

The Humans are Dead

“Binary solo! 0000001, 0000011…” Oh, they kill me. (”Sniff this one, it’s dead…”)

Okay. Feeling better now.

We interrupt this program for a Very Special Announcement…

So, I’m all about the podsafe music, right? Because it wicked good music that is totally available for me to use in my podcasts, without worries of mean, scary lawyers coming after me to demand I pay gazillions of dollars for the use of said music in my podcasts. Which, cool? Plus, podsafe music introduced me to awesome musicians, like Black Lab and Lee Coulter and Brother Love and Adrienne Pierce and The Clintons and Rocky Votolato and Adrina Thorpe and Matthew Ebel and… good golly Miss Molly! all SORTS of other awesome musicians. And did I mention the awesome musicians? Because, if not, I’ve discovered a whole shootload of podsafe musicians! Who are awesome!

That being said, I loved the latest episode of the Mommycast Music Show (though I missed Gretchen). My BFF Paige interviewed Zarif, who is, in my totally valid opinion, an amazing vocalist/performer. Plus, super cute, right?! If her work with The Nextmen is any indication, I am so looking forward to her debut album. Oh, and I checked out the Something Got You video on YouTube and it is pretty darn brilliant. Definitely a visual pleasure, and fits the funky groove of the song perfectly. And yes, as a matter of fact I DID just say “funky groove.” What?! I can totally pull off “funky groove,” so step OFF me.

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/MQrxvDgdti4″ height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

*jealous of skillz*

Okay, Mommycast Music, you better keep me updated on Zarif’s debut album, mm’kay?

BTW: You can listen to the Mommycast Music show right there at the website, which… convenient?! You don’t need an iPod, or iTunes, or anything. (Unless you already HAVE iTunes or an iPod, in which case, go for it.) Just some speakers or earphones. Just so you know.

Labor Day: DWM Style

Well, we couldn’t let a Labor Day pass by without our annual Labor Day Video Extravaganza Ramma Lamma Bing Bang, now could we?! Okay, so it’s only the second year, but still… traditions have to start somewhere. Just sayin’.

So, without further ado… the DWM Clan unleashes their mad lip-syncing skillz on an unsuspecting public with…

Apologize by Timbaland fea. One Republic.

Yeah, baby. Sit back and enjoy. We’re taking it Old School.

Um, I don’t know what that means, really, the Old School thing, but… cool!

Next Page »