A Special Holiday Message

December 24, 2007

( I couldn’t let this beautiful season pass without expressing a heartfelt message of holiday cheer. So… yah. Here it is. Music in this podcast provided by the Podsafe Music Network, with Santa Claus is Coming to Town by Dokken. Yes, I said DOKKEN.)

Ha, ha, ha! Merry Christmas, everyone! HA, HA, HA!

Oh… didn’t you hear? In Australia, street Santas are being encouraged to replace “ho ho ho!” with “ha ha ha!” You know, because all that deep “ho ho ho!”-ing scares the children? Not to mention the blatant sexist connotations inherent in the traditional phraseology?

Then again, potentially any large man in a red velvet suit with a scraggly white beard could scare the everlovin’ bejeebies out of a child, especially when said child is coerced into sitting on the man’s lap while “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake!” blares in the background.

But that is totally beside the point. Belting out “ho ho ho!” at all those unsuspecting children? All they want is a candy cane, after all. That could damage a child’s psyche, that’s all I’m saying.

Yup. Leave it to Oz to straighten out Santa Claus and his Eurocentric, closed-minded, rigid value judgments. I mean, ‘ho’? And what about ‘naughty’ and ‘nice’? Hello? Who is he to say?! Huh? This is the 21st century, Santa. We don’t burden children with labels that could damage their self-esteem. We prefer “obedience-challenged” or “potentially disruptive on a large scale.” And EVERYONE gets a present. But I digress.

So, the family and I just finished singing a rousing chorus of ‘Rudolph the Differently-abled Reindeer-American,’ which is one of our favorite Holiday Ballads of Strictly Secular Joy. Those are always fun this time of year! Good times!

Aw, I kid. Kidding! My family and I are in fact quite full of the holiday spirit and are feeling extraordinarily thankful for the blessings we have received this year.

Speaking of blessings…

Top Ten Lambson Moments of 2007

10. Buying Guitar Hero and rocking out as a family. Need I say more?

9. Allison discovering acronyms, and-after hearing that I made bran muffins-skipping along behind me and happily yelling out for all the neighborhood to hear “Yay! Mom, Come on! Let’s go eat a BM!”

8. Hannah telling Tanner she loved him, just out of the blue, then-after Aaron and I finished cooing, “Aw!” and “How sweet!”-shrugging and admitting, “Yeah… that was an awkward moment.”

7. Breaking up with American Idol so we could have those three nights per week of our lives back.

6. Making wedding videos and Public Service Announcement vidcasts with the kiddos. Just for the heck of it.

5. Hannah yelling, “Momma! Swinging with the wind rushing over my toes is my favorite way to swing! (flinging hair as if she were the Breck Girl) With the wind in my hair!… While wearing a skort!”

4. Allison proudly showing off her new gerbil, then announcing, “One of them I thought had babies, but it was actually only his tentacles.” Then, after our explosion of laughter, insisting, “No! I’m not kidding, guys! Those tentacles were HUGE!”

3. Scoring an interview with actor Michael Muhney (AKA: Sheriff Lamb)-from my favorite TV show Veronica Mars-for my sleeper hit vidcast, Veronica Mars REWIND, (Michael Muhney says I “rock”… Booyah!)

2. Tanner auditioning for and WINNING the lead part of Charlie in his school’s musical production of Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka.

1. Crawling into bed at the end of the day and cuddling up with a novel, smooshed between my kiddos–smelling of playground sweat and sunshine–eagerly devouring novels of their own, the only sound the whisper of turning pages, the rustle of blankets, and occasional bursts of laughter followed by silly passages read aloud for all to enjoy. No television. No phone. No computer. No radio. Just my kids and me tucked away from the world, immersed in worlds of our own… together.

Happy Holidays

And I mean this… happy holidays, y’all.

Cat’s Fall Super Cool TV Picks

November 1, 2007

My Top 5 NEW fall shows, in no particular order, except for by how much I like them:

Pushing Daisies
Samantha Who
Chuck
Reaper
Aliens in America

And then there are the guilty pleasures of the I’m Sure I Shouldn’t Enjoy This As Much As I So Totally Do variety:

Bionic Woman
Moonlight

And finally, my Number 1 Oh, If Only It Could Have Been So fall show:

Veronica Mars, FBI (NOTE: This link takes you to the actual 12-minutes of video shot for Rob Thomas’s pitch to the network. Favorite quote: “There’s lesbians to fend off and hazing rituals to be endured … I’m on a schedule.”)

Labor Day: DWM Style

September 3, 2007

Well, we couldn’t let a Labor Day pass by without our annual Labor Day Video Extravaganza Ramma Lamma Bing Bang, now could we?! Okay, so it’s only the second year, but still… traditions have to start somewhere. Just sayin’.

So, without further ado… the DWM Clan unleashes their mad lip-syncing skillz on an unsuspecting public with…

Apologize by Timbaland fea. One Republic.

Yeah, baby. Sit back and enjoy. We’re taking it Old School.

Um, I don’t know what that means, really, the Old School thing, but… cool!

New Year’s Resolutions (NYR) for 2007

January 4, 2007

NYR #1: Stop procrastinating! Timeliness is key.

NYR #2: Spend more time with my children. Mostly via Guitar Hero. See, it’s educational, what with budgeting all the gig-earnings so we can buy new songs– like Strong Bad’s “Trogdor” and Amazing Royal Crowns’ “Mr. Fix It”– and killer new outfits, not to even mention all the traveling across the countryside and whatnot. I mean, we can play STONEHENGE, people. In ENGLAND. That’s all I’m saying. These are valuable life skills. It’s the school of rock, baby! SCHOOL. OF. ROCK.

Basically, it’s all about family togetherness.

NYR #3: Eat more pie. Preferably boysenberry. Self explanatory.

NYR #4: Stick to a budget. Any budget will do.

NYR #5: Retire “booyah!” Coin a new phrase. Perhaps something like “hooyah!” Or possibly “fooyah!” Be original.

NYR #6: Buy more fabric. Because you can never have enough of that stuff. Oh, and hoodies! Buy more hoodies.

Okay, I’ll finish this later.