They Grow Up So Fast Fo’ Rizzle

January 9, 2014

My, how things change! This seems to be especially true of the occasional overheard conversation, what with three high-schoolers in the house and all.

Toto, we aren’t in grade school anymore.

To illustrate-

Overheard conversation amongst my kiddos yesterday afternoon (names redacted to protect the innocent freaking weirdos I’ve raised):

Kiddo 1: Hey. Why is picking your nose not considered socially acceptable?

Kiddo 2: I wasn’t picking my nose!

Kiddo 1: I’m only saying.

Kiddo 2: Whatever. Did you know you can use this thing called Gizoogle to search for information in ghetto? No, seriously! Give me a word.

Kiddo 1: Flower. I mean, everyone picks their nose, right?

Kiddo 2: Flower? Okay.

Kiddo 3: Our bus driver picks his nose. It is not attractive.

Kiddo 1: Your bus driver is not attractive.

Kiddo 3: Good point.

Kiddo 2: Okay, here we go. Flower… or did you mean to say “funky-ass bloom blossom”?

Kiddo 1: Wait, what?

Kiddo 2: That’s flower, according to Wikipizzle!

Kiddo 3: Heh. Wikipizzle.

Kiddo 1: I’m just saying it seems weird for it to be such a big deal. “Oooh, look! That bro’s picking his nose! Oooh!”

Kiddo 3: Wikipizzle, fo’ shizzle!

Kiddo 1: Am I wrong?

Kiddo 2: Yep. Hashtag gizoogle – fo’ all y’all biotches who wanna find shiznit!

Kiddo 3: It just LOOKS gross, that’s probably why.

Kiddo 1: Still.

Kiddo 2: Let’s try rabbit now. Rabbit… lil’ ass muth… okay, well that’s just inappropriate.

Momma: Good lord! Don’t you guys have homework to do?

Frantic typing, then-

Kiddo 2: Nope. Our mackdaddies dint assign homework fo’ da huslas.

Giggles all around.

Momma: Okay, enough! Just step away from the computer and go outside for a bit.

Groans.

Momma: And don’t forget to stop and smell the funky-ass bloom blossoms while you’re at it!

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My family, ladies and gentlemen.

*proud*

It’s What the Cool Kids Dew

August 30, 2013

Overheard conversation between my 15-year-old daughter and one of her friends:

Mack: Yeah, she was with me when I drank, like, four bottles of Mountain Dew.

Mack’s Friend: Well, that can’t be good for you!

Mack: I know, but, you know, that’s what all cool kids are drinking these days…

Mack’s Friend: No, the cool kids are drinking something else.

Pause.

Mack: Touché.

Firstly, HA!

And B, is it strange that this quick, completely random conversation caused a sudden and unreasonably powerful surge of happiness within me?

Just asking.