Awkward Moments

February 6, 2014

Wait. So it’s NOT Bring Your Doll to Work Day?!

Bring Your Doll to Work Day

Well. This is embarrassing.

They Grow Up So Fast Fo’ Rizzle

January 9, 2014

My, how things change! This seems to be especially true of the occasional overheard conversation, what with three high-schoolers in the house and all.

Toto, we aren’t in grade school anymore.

To illustrate-

Overheard conversation amongst my kiddos yesterday afternoon (names redacted to protect the innocent freaking weirdos I’ve raised):

Kiddo 1: Hey. Why is picking your nose not considered socially acceptable?

Kiddo 2: I wasn’t picking my nose!

Kiddo 1: I’m only saying.

Kiddo 2: Whatever. Did you know you can use this thing called Gizoogle to search for information in ghetto? No, seriously! Give me a word.

Kiddo 1: Flower. I mean, everyone picks their nose, right?

Kiddo 2: Flower? Okay.

Kiddo 3: Our bus driver picks his nose. It is not attractive.

Kiddo 1: Your bus driver is not attractive.

Kiddo 3: Good point.

Kiddo 2: Okay, here we go. Flower… or did you mean to say “funky-ass bloom blossom”?

Kiddo 1: Wait, what?

Kiddo 2: That’s flower, according to Wikipizzle!

Kiddo 3: Heh. Wikipizzle.

Kiddo 1: I’m just saying it seems weird for it to be such a big deal. “Oooh, look! That bro’s picking his nose! Oooh!”

Kiddo 3: Wikipizzle, fo’ shizzle!

Kiddo 1: Am I wrong?

Kiddo 2: Yep. Hashtag gizoogle – fo’ all y’all biotches who wanna find shiznit!

Kiddo 3: It just LOOKS gross, that’s probably why.

Kiddo 1: Still.

Kiddo 2: Let’s try rabbit now. Rabbit… lil’ ass muth… okay, well that’s just inappropriate.

Momma: Good lord! Don’t you guys have homework to do?

Frantic typing, then-

Kiddo 2: Nope. Our mackdaddies dint assign homework fo’ da huslas.

Giggles all around.

Momma: Okay, enough! Just step away from the computer and go outside for a bit.

Groans.

Momma: And don’t forget to stop and smell the funky-ass bloom blossoms while you’re at it!

20140109-134956.jpg

My family, ladies and gentlemen.

*proud*

She Calls It Like She Sees It

December 9, 2013

Reactions from my kiddos, upon viewing this photo from Way Way Back:

Way way back

Cat: Ohmygawsh! Look at you guys! So cute!

TD (studying the photo): Wow, Mom. You look… tired.

Cat: First of all? Rude. And B, I am pregnant with Alli in this picture, so chances are good I WAS tired, Mr. Rudesby.

Alli (suddenly way more interested): You were?! Let me see!

Mack: (holding photo out of reach) Oooh, “Hashtag Mormon Moms”! Ha ha!

Cat (grabbing the photo): You’re hilarious.

A DWM Cautionary Tale

November 6, 2013

There are a few universal truths:

A pot should never call the kettle black.

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

And people with large, uncovered windows in their front and side doors shouldn’t cook dinner in their underwear (or naked, for that matter), or so I’ve tried to teach TGIM.

So just before dinner last night, when the doorbell rang, TGIM dropped the spatula he’d been wielding (manfully!) and sprinted for the stairs, yelling, “Whoa! What the…?! Someone get that! I’m in my underwear!”

Even though I was super busy laughing and yelling after him, “See?! See, TGIM?! This is why!” I could still hear Paige’s daughter Kate’s voice carrying through the house as soon as Alli opened the front door.

“Hi! Um, I’ve been standing at your side door for, like, ten minutes…”

It was dark AND I was in the next room, but I could still hear the blush in her voice.

“I didn’t know what to do…” she said, obviously holding back laughter. “I just need to pick up some rabbit food!”

(Okay. It’s not as if she hadn’t already seen him in his cycling outfit, but still.)

So, of course TGIM, once properly pantsed up (panted?), went out and got in everyone’s face, helping TD get Kate some rabbit food, all tra la la, I have pants on, it never happened, tra la la, this isn’t awkward, if I talk enough everyone will forget, la di da!

“That’s not enough. Here, have some more!” TGIM offered, shoveling more rabbit food into the bag Kate was holding.

“No, it’s okay—”

“No, no, have some more!”

“But, we only need—”

“No worries! It’s yours! We’re good here! Take it!”

Awkward.

After Kate drove away, fully stocked with pretty much all the rabbit food we owned, and we finally sat down to dinner, I turned to TGIM and said, “Well, I’m just glad she didn’t see you in Superman underwear or something.”

The kiddos burst into giggles when, with perfect composure, TGIM replied, “Yesterday, she would have.”

Worth a Thousand Words

August 15, 2013

Family.

Sheltons 1

Sheltons 3

Sheltons 2

Sheltons 4

Sunrise - Sheltons Topside

Sunrise Ski Resort - Bro and Sisters

Sunrise Ski Lift - Cousins

Sunrise Ski Lift - Close Up

Sunrise Resort - Cousins

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