Going on a Mini-Break!

Okay, so we’re breaking out! The stay-cation has morphed into a wicked cool mini-break! Woot! YES! Because stay-cations equal sadness for all. Honestly. Well, at least for DWM and clan. I’m just saying. Staying is NO FUN. At ALL.

So, now that I’m done with the filming (oooh, that’s what we call a “teaser” in the biz…) We’re off to NYC, all y’all. That’s right! New York City! All of us! Even TGIM! We’ve never been, so… EXCITING?! That being said, if there is anything we absoLUTEly need to do while we’re in the Big Apple (wait… do we still call it that? is that un-hip of me? Dear LORD! I don’t even KNOW!), let me know, mm’kay?

And now, I must pack. For the wicked cool mini-break I happen to be going on with the fam. Because we are done with the shoot. And we are no longer staying. We are mini-breaking. Which is way better.

In the 80’s, everything was copasetic.

(I originally posted this back in August of ‘05, but now with my 20-year reunion a’loomin’ and me feeling wicked nostalgic and whatnot, I thought I’d do a little DWM REWIND and post it again, slightly altered for timeliness. Because it’s my blog and I CAN, that’s why!)

Feeling nostalgic. That is all. Feel free to add to the list. In fact, I strongly encourage you to do so!

Things I Miss from the 80’s:

1. Seeing 95 pounds peeking out at me from my scale. *le sigh*

2. Cruising for boys on Gurley Street with my homies, blasting the remix version of Billy Idol’s “Catch My Fall” (killer bassline, y’all), sipping Sundance Sparklers (nonalcoholic!), screaming “Memory! All alone in the MOOOOONLIGHT!” every time we passed by the scene of a make-out or break-up. Of which there were several. Ooooh! And “Old Man Driiiiiiver!” (to the tune of “Old Man River”) whenever we passed by guys WAY TOO OLD to be out cruising. Of which there were several. Huh, Di?! Huh?!

3. My ginormous Esprit and Guess? bags, which held everything from my Adventures in Literature textbook to my clunky cheer shoes to five or six really radical to the max cassette tapes to my assorted jelly bracelets and banana clips. And sometimes my lunch.

4. Rainbow-colored eyeshadow and blue mascara. And blue eyeliner, of COURSE. Duh.

5. Wham! The Wham Rap? Classic, y’all. CLASSIC. I still know all the words. Ask anyone. Go on. Try me. Do it. No, really. DO IT.

6. The Solid Gold Dancers. No, seriously. LOVED. THEM. Wanted to BE. THEM.

7. Saying “psyche!” Oh, and “freak!” Wait…

8. Star Search. When it was GOOD.

9. The Brat Pack.

10. Crimped hair, big bangs, strategically placed headbands, bangle earrings, and Swatch Watches with jelly Swatch Guards.

11. Cyberpunk Max Headroom. CATCH THE WAVE!! ‘Member, guys?! Do ya?! Dude. That was totally our Homecoming slogan one year. Go, Badgers!

12. Atari. I mean, c’mon… Frogger? Pitfall? GALAGA?! Hello?!

13. Spandex biker shorts under my paint-splashed, acid-washed denim mini. It just LOOKED COOL, okay?! Geez.

14. Debbie Gibson…. What?! I DO! And if you must know, it is possible that I miss Tiffany, as well. PERHAPS.

15. A time when I actually WANTED my MTV.

16. Echo & the Bunnymen, Cutting Crew, Scritti Politti, Tears for Fears, and Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark.

17. My acid-washed jean jacket covered with ENORMOUS, entirely superfluous silver buttons and an assortment of safety pins with multicolored beads strung through them. Which meant I was very popular and had lots of friends. Right?

18. Sleep overs with my girlfriends, at which we listened to KISS FM, gossiped about boys, experimented with our hair, traded comfy pink Esprit sweatshirts for zip-tapered, pastel-flowered Guess? jeans, and– contrary to TGIM’s much-fantasized belief– DID NOT engage in naked pillow-fighting. But TGIM? Said girlfriends DID teach me how to French kiss. That one’s all yours, baby.

19. Slap bracelets. Preferably neon. Lots of ‘em.

20. Freezing my ass off while cheering at home football games. In the snow. In a cheerleading uniform. With NO pantyhose or tights. Because that would have been TACKY.

21. Singing along to “Wig” by the B-52’s at the top of my lungs on the bus during away football trips: “What’s that on your head? A wig! Wig, wig, wig! Wig’s on fire! Wig’s on fire! Wig’s on… fire! It’s 2525 and we’ve got the most wigs alive!” Why does nobody REMEMBER this song?

22. Tanning on the roof with a fluffy towel, my boombox, and big-A bottle of Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil. For the Tan of the Islands! Or more freckles! Usually more freckles! Whatever!

23. Every single solitary stinkin’ John Hughes movie. I mean, sometimes I used to watch The Dead Zone on USA just to see Farmer Ted (AKA: The Geek from Sixteen Candles) and reminisce. “I never bagged a babe. I’m not a stud.” Seriously. Who writes movies like that anymore?! No one, that’s who!

24. Jams with coordinating t-back tank tops.

25. Comfy, unlaced Keds.

26. First REAL kisses. Cheetos optional.

27. Boys in cuffed jeans and unlaced Reebok high tops. I don’t know why, really.

28. Slouch socks. Ooooh! And slouch boots! Because they totally hid my freakish chicken ankles, all right?

29. My mini black lace ra-ra skirt, a la Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan. HAWT.

30. Wearing sunglasses at night. Hey. Don’t be afraid of the guy in shades, oh no.

Sadly, I could go on and on and on…

Not that NOW isn’t good! Oh, I LOVE now! But your high school years, they stay with you, you know?

Which, once you think about it, is at the same time slightly comforting and absolutely horrifying. Especially, it seems, if you lived out your teenage years in the 80’s. Just sayin’. That’s a hard era to shake. The hair, the styles… I mean, just look at all the Mom-Pants out there. Totally 80’s! Honestly. It’s 2008! Lose the MOM-PANTS, ladies! LOSE THEM NOW.

And sometimes, guys? Sometimes? I have this almost overwhelming desire to poof up my bangs. You know, just a little. Like, “Oh, just an inch or so won’t hurt….” But it would! Dear lord, it WOULD!

Oh, NO. I just realize that the bulk of my childhood was spent during the 70’s! Don’t even get me STARTED on homemade polyester bell-bottoms, roller skating rinks, my Donna Summers fixation, tetherball wars, and hula hoops. PLEASE. Just… don’t.

That’s a post for another day, y’all. A post for another day…

Random Thoughts on a Friday Midmorning

The kiddos come home next Friday, so YAY! You know, I always miss them SOOO much more than I think I will. Honestly. What does that say about me– as a momma– that I think I won’t miss them?

Great. Now I have thoughts.

Speaking of Dr. Horrible, if you haven’t seen Felicia “Penny” Day’s webisode series “The Guild” yet, you should totally check it out! (What? I wasn’t speaking of Dr. Horrible? Well, there’s a mad crazy switch.) It won the 2007 YouTube Video Award and e’rything! I’m spreading the love because I think it is hilarious so I want to share AND because I absolutely ADORE being the one that points out fun, pop-culturally-relevant stuff to people. It makes me feel happy and important. Sometimes, even, I get tingles. Tingles in happy and important places. So, you’re welcome.

Also, I am very weird.

Stuck on the Escalator

(Disclaimer:  I do not fancy myself a surrealist with an intuitive and spontaneous understanding of the world. I don’t even believe I have a certain predisposition to recognize the surrealistic quality of my existence. It’s just that there are moments when the world is strikingly surreal. More than what I see. Or more accurately, more than what I choose to see. Okay. You have been warned.)

I am exiting the Metro station when it happens. You know, that thing that has been happening to me lately? That thing where I am struck by a moment of dreamlike clarity, where everyone and everything around me suddenly seems so real, so true, but in a way that is wholly unreal? You know? That thing?

It is the escalators. I blame them completely. Or, I suppose, I blame the people on them. As I approach the escalators I am arrested by a flash of pure light in my mind’s eye, and it is as if I am suddenly outside of myself– not me, not Cat, I just am– and an explosion of silence drowns out the hum of hurried voices, the scuffs of shoes, the sneezes and coughs. The world spins around me but I remain still, mesmerized by the view. Because the colors are bolder and brighter than before and everything is somehow bigger, larger than life. Life in High Definition.

And these people on the escalators, they aren’t moving. They aren’t stepping. They are just… standing. Staring with eyes unfocused on the gum-defaced billboards. Listening with ears plugged up with white iPod ear buds. A thinning river of humanity, standing to the right, quiet, unmoving, patient, content to effortlessly travel the straight line, up and up, propelled by unseen hydraulics along an unwavering, predestined course. Together, but so disconnected from one another that there could be miles between each of them rather than only a step. A part of the machinery, slave to hydraulic lift–

–but a passerbyer shoulders me, shatters the illusion, and it all changes. Dulls. Hums. I can just make out the tinny crackle of the loudspeakers announcing more outages on the Orange line. As a surge of newly-arrived travelers wash past me, I bow like a weed in the stream, momentarily able to withstand the rush, but knowing that despite my tenacity my immobility cannot last. I see that there is nowhere to go but up, and it occurs to me that such is life. We all move inexorably forward, up and up…

With that thought, I take a breath and charge up the escalator.

So if you happened to see a wild-eyed gal garbed in business cazsh thundering past you on the left-hand side of the escalator this morning, taking the steps two at a time, know that the wild-eyed gal was me. Because while I accept that we must move forward, up and up, how I go about getting there?

Well, that is entirely up to me.

TechnoGeekery? Yay, technology!

Despite the heavens opening up and God saying, “I hate you, Chassy Cat!”, the latest episode of TechnoGeekery has finally clawed its way out of the jumbled mess that was my iMac hard drive and found its way to the surface.

That’s right, y’all! Despite technical difficulties that may have driven a lesser TechnoGeek even closer to the edge of mind numbingly crazy monkey madness, the technogeekery has prevailed!

TechnoGeekery Show #36:  Buying Domain Names… What’s the Point? (Part II)

See?! Yay, technology!

Now I don’t want to brag or anything, but I think this episode is just chock full of the techno tutorial goodness that is the geeky… okay, I don’t know where that was going, so let’s just say you can learn a whole lot about what to do with a domain name if you get a wild hair and buy one. Mm’kay?

Plus, I threw in the musical stylings of one Alexz Johnson for good measure. Uh, because I LOVE her?

Duh.

Enjoy. And LEARN and stuff.

Singing Along with Dr. Horrible

Okay, I fully admit I had NO IDEA that Joss Whedon had gone live with his latest project (bad Joss Whedon fan! BAD!), Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, a three-episode internet musical starring the super awesome Neil Patrick Harris as a blogging, low-rent super villain named Dr. Horrible, who longs to gain entrance into the Evil League of Evil and talk to the pretty girl at the laundromat. Seriously. No clue.

But he did.

And I had NO IDEA that if I decided to watch said super villain internet musical while, say, riding the Metro into work this morning, there would be the possibility that I might, perhaps, nearly bust a gut laughing and freak out the very nice-seeming gentleman in the army uniform sitting next to me, who might then, maybe, swiftly move across the car from me and stealthily watch me for signs of The Crazy, fully intent on taking me DOWN if need be.

But I did.

But, c’mon. By the time Captain Hammer (played by the super awesome Nathan Fillion) jumped atop the wonderflonium-filled courier van that had been hijacked by Dr. Horrible’s Horrible Van Remote application on his iPhone, I was gone. I mean, a blogging, singing super villain?! With an iPhone?! Loaded with applications of super villain evil?! How genius is that?!

Hey. You know who’s an evil genius? Joss Whedon, that’s who! Honestly. What I wouldn’t give to work with that man!

Well, probably not my first born. Or my soul. Or, you know, anything remotely dear to me. But still! I would so love to hang with the man for a day. Pick his brain. Learn his process. See how he does it. Check for signs of soul-sellage, what with his evil genius and all. Maybe take him out for a beverage of some sort. You know, geeky stuff.

Enough with the sharing. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to watch Act I, Episode I again while, perhaps, this time singing along. Because it’s Dr. Horrible’s SING-ALONG Blog, that’s why! Sheesh. Keep up.

As you were.

Cheap China Balls

So someone actually chatted me up, right? Using the Chat with Cat feature I added to TechnoGeekery (and DWM)?! Fellow by the name of Jim, it was. I was all helpful and stuff because dude’s audio made his voice all Gobot-like and whatnot, right? So after singing a few bars of the Transformers theme song (More than meets the eye!) and a few obligatory references to Decepticons, I sussed out that his podcast was indeed formatted in the proper, uh, format, so I was like, “Hey, I have no idea why your audio is all jacked up! Why don’t you contact Podango, yo?” and he was like, “Okay! I think I will! Thank you, Chassy Cat. You are so very awesome!” Except I may have added that last part, but who knows?! It all happened so fast, and it’s sort of fuzzy now, but I’m pretty sure he thought I was helpful and awesome because guess what? He totally emailed me to thank me and to offer some constructive technogeeky advice regarding the lighting for my oh-so-humble podcast o’ TechnoGeekery.

Unfortunately his email went straight to my Junk Mail; fortunately I often skim over said Junk Mail, so I totally caught it amongst the offers to increase my… er, girth… well, whatever!

Anyway, I SO appreciated the advice. I mean, I’ve been told before that I should look into lighting, but I was like, “Dude. No way am I spending that kind of money! That’s a whole lot of Taco Bell!” Except, I totally don’t ever eat at Taco Bell. Their beans are DEHYDRATED. As for filming TechnoGeekery, I’ve tried moving around a bit, and my best lighting has been up in my room facing the window, but the natural light can be a little too harsh. Like, “Hello, freckles! How you doin’?” But my new TechnoGeek friend suggested I forgo spending what he called “a butt load of money on studio lighting” (which, HA! he said “butt”) and invest in a type of (cheap) lighting (totally inexpensive) he called China balls (which don’t cost much money at ALL).

Apparently, China balls—those paper globes with the metal ribs and a light bulb inside—are perfect for creating natural soft light. YES. Hello softer shadows! My freckles and I thank you, TechnoGeek Jim. No, really. From the bottom of my photoprotective melanin-deprived heart. Or skin. Oh, you know what I mean.

And I mentioned the “not expensive” part, right? Like, Blue Light Special cheap? That’s all I’m saying.

So… China balls! I didn’t know that is what those were called, but my aunt had several of them hanging in her bedroom in the early 80’s, so I am familiar with them. Hmmm, come to think of it, now that I know they are generally used to create natural soft light and pleasing skin tones… well, frankly, I’m a little wigged out. I am also forcibly reminded of her totally radical boyfriend back then, however, and I suppose the need for softer lighting would come into play… boyfriend had a perm AND a ’stache! Couple that with his trendy 80’s fashion sense, and well, I’m not surprised. Honestly.

So, a big shout out to my new TechnoGeek peep, Jim! Thanks. I will definitely try to implement a new lighting arrangement as soon as I can get my hands on some cheap China balls!

Oh. Oh MY. Well that just sounds dirty. How embarrassing. I shall now call them cheap China lanterns.

Heck. I may even devote an entire TechnoGeekery episode to the benefits of cheap China ba– er, lanterns! I mean it. Ain’t technology grand?…

… Transformers! Robots in disguise! 

Ha! That never gets old.

*UPDATED I’m Thinking!

There are thoughts being thunk. I promise! But I’m in a funk. Not to mention the fact there are, unfortunately, not enough hours in my day to plunk out said thoughts being thunk…

Aaaaaand now I’ve gone all Theodor Seuss Geisel on your ass– er, bootays. How incredibly lame.

I need a vacation.

That being said, I have a story. It’s a good one. It involves six impatiently eager children, six gaily wrapped presents, one tinsel-covered Christmas tree, and a dream. Oh, and Uncle Ron. We can’t forget him. This story spans years and years and has recently come to a rather interesting conclusion. Or beginning. I don’t know…

When I gather the thoughts I’ve thunk, the keys I will plunk.

Oh, dear lord. I’m LAAAAAAAAAME.

Until I get my blog on, feel free to click over to TechnoGeekery for my latest shows:

TechnoGeekery Show #29: What the Widget?!

*TechnoGeekery Show #30: Send Videos…One Click!

Seriously. What the widget?! Did anyone ELSE know a person with Safari and Leopard could DO this?! SWEET.

* Plus, to prove people watch, I need your videos now! Send whatever you want, except porn ain’t allowed! (Hey, that sounds like a song…)

Legendary Music Video

Okay, so I created this song using my mad Garageband skillz… also, by using a Media Converter to grab the karaoke version of the song off YouTube, but whatever. Still cool!

A legendary music video is in the works. I’m hoping to enter it in a contest and win some sweet prizes. Because I’m a huge geek?

Enjoy!

Or not. Whatev.

(BTW: Any thoughts on how to MAKE said Legendary Music Video would be much appreciated! I’m envisioning RockBand instruments… oh, AND a strobe light. Because, AWESOME?)

A New TechnoGeekery: Hyperlinks and Hugh Hreffner

A new TechnoGeekery is up! You better mosey yourself on over to watch, if you want to be a part of the Super Secret HTML Club, that is. Just sayin’, the clock’s a-tickin’.

TechnoGeekery with Chassy Cat is brought to you by Aveeno Baby. Check them out!

In this episode– TechnoGeekery Show #27: Hyperlinks and Hugh Hreffner– Chassy Cat reveals all: learn how to make a hyperlink–a link to another web page, picture, document– in comment sections of blogs and websites using HTML, and become a brand new member of the Secret HTML Club! Which, of course, makes you super cool.

Woo!

Remember, Hugh Hreffner is the KEY… (and yes, I know it’s Hefner, but this is MY mnemonic device so step OFF me, yo?)

<a href=“URL”>Hyperlink Text</a>

That’s all she wrote, my TechnoGeek peeps.

Cat, OUT.

Street Cred

Crap.

I may have just been spotted–at work!–air guitaring along with the (wicked awesome) song playing on my iPod.

Hey! I can’t help it! The music is in my SOUL, so kindly step OFF me, yo?

Well. This can’t be good for my street cred with the urban cubicleland demographic.

NEW American Idol Theme Song

If you can’t view a YouTube link (for whatever reason), and are therefore unable to enjoy the comedic stylings of Rhett and Link, it is quite possible you may be able to view the video HERE. And since I think these guys are freaking hilarious, I will mention that you can also subscribe to the Rhett and Linkast at their site or iTunes.

There! Don’t say I never give you anything.

Enjoy.

All rising.

Guess who’s TWITTERpated?!

Follow Chassy Cat at TWITTER.

That’s right, y’all. I’ve already jumped on board the Twitter train, but now I am determined to get off my lazy, non-Twitteriffic butt and rush full steam ahead! Or something. Crap. Yeah, I lost myself in my analogy, too.

Whatever! My point is this: I have installed a Twitter widget in my right sidebar. Seriously. Take a look. —> Over there! I can wait… See, I’ve decided to Twitter random thoughts as they occur to me throughout the week. For instance, please note today’s Chassy Cat Tweets:

Britney Spears totally cracked me up on HIMYM. Well, there you have it. Words I never thought I’d utter without a codicillary “Not!”

AND

I suddenly realized the only time I will ever “stop traffic” is during my funeral procession and basically my day went downhill from there.

Woo! FUN! I mean, that is good stuff there. All I’m saying is that a person needs an outlet for all the randomness in life, and I think I’ve found mine. And all in 140 characters or less, to boot! That’s right… hollah!

*raises the roof*

So feel free to visit DWM to see my Tweets, or head on over to Twitter and follow me there. Oooh, and if you already have a Twitter account, we can totally Tweet each other! Right?!

Dirty.

Royally Screwed

As I sat at a traffic signal a few moments ago, stopped at a green light, my feelings quickly descended from the heady heights of annoyance– I mean, STOPPED! at a GREEN LIGHT!– into the realm of somber thoughtfulness, which was most likely a natural progression of thought due to the mile-long funeral procession crossing in front of me through the light.

And as I watched the cavalcade of mourners roll slowly by, preceded by motorcycle police officers with their sirens and lights providing guaranteed right-of-way to the hearse containing the casketed remains which followed closely behind, something pretty earth-shattering occurred to me.

See, I suddenly realized the only time I will ever be treated even remotely like royalty– with cavalcades equipped with sirens and lights and special flashers, and adoring family and friends following me around– I will be totally DEAD. And thus, completely unable to enjoy the experience. And heaven knows that my family and friends won’t have a good time, what with being all wrecked with sadness and whatnot over the tragedy of their loss. You know, of me. Right? Right?! Dude, I’m saying.

In what universe is that fair?

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.” And today I suddenly realized that in both? Well, I get totally gypped.

TechnoGeekery Show #15: Product Review… EYE-FI Wireless Card

A new TechnoGeekery episode is up! And in it, I am Reviewer Gal! That’s right! I was asked to test out and review a techno gadget!

FOOYAH!

So I was all, “Heck, yes, I’ll test and review a techno gadget!” And TechnoGeekery Show #15: Product Review… EYE-FI Wireless Card was born!

And then I took a nap, being thoroughly exhausted by all the exclamations.

Music in the podcast provided by the Podsafe Music Network, with Remember by Black Lab, Photograph by Lee Coulter, and Shady by Rayko/KRB.

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