Super Evil Chassy and the Evil League of Evil

Well CHECK IT OUT! I’m FAMOUS! SIX people have VOTED for me! SIX! As of RIGHT now! And only ONE of those was ME! FOOYAH!

Dude, I’m saying. Wonderflonium.com ROCKS, yo? Solid.

So, yeah… feel free to click over and vote for Super Evil Chassy’s quite compelling argument for a spot in the Evil League of Evil as Dr. Horrible’s Sidekick. And while you’re at it, head on over to YouTube and spread the love. Joss Whedon, I mean Dr. Horrible, MUST pick me! MEEEE!

The Horrible Evil Sidekick gig will be mine. Oh, yes. It WILL be mine.

Now excuse me. I need to go call everyone I know.

SIX. Woo!

Redesign at TechnoGeekery

Check it out!

Okay, I got a little crazy. And, hey, carpal tunnel is SO not my friend.

Also, at many viewers’ request, I reposted at YouTube ONLY the song portion (”Horrible Evil Sidekick”) of my last TechnoGeekery episode. Please click over and leave lots o’ love. Because I’m NEEDY that way, okay?!

Finally, if you are interested (and heck! why wouldn’t you be?!), I’ve made an .mp3 and iPhone ringtone of “Horrible Evil Sidekick” available for download over at TechnoGeekery. You’re welcome.

*rushes off to get ice pack for wrist*

TechnoGeekery? Yay, technology!

Despite the heavens opening up and God saying, “I hate you, Chassy Cat!”, the latest episode of TechnoGeekery has finally clawed its way out of the jumbled mess that was my iMac hard drive and found its way to the surface.

That’s right, y’all! Despite technical difficulties that may have driven a lesser TechnoGeek even closer to the edge of mind numbingly crazy monkey madness, the technogeekery has prevailed!

TechnoGeekery Show #36:  Buying Domain Names… What’s the Point? (Part II)

See?! Yay, technology!

Now I don’t want to brag or anything, but I think this episode is just chock full of the techno tutorial goodness that is the geeky… okay, I don’t know where that was going, so let’s just say you can learn a whole lot about what to do with a domain name if you get a wild hair and buy one. Mm’kay?

Plus, I threw in the musical stylings of one Alexz Johnson for good measure. Uh, because I LOVE her?

Duh.

Enjoy. And LEARN and stuff.

Cheap China Balls

So someone actually chatted me up, right? Using the Chat with Cat feature I added to TechnoGeekery (and DWM)?! Fellow by the name of Jim, it was. I was all helpful and stuff because dude’s audio made his voice all Gobot-like and whatnot, right? So after singing a few bars of the Transformers theme song (More than meets the eye!) and a few obligatory references to Decepticons, I sussed out that his podcast was indeed formatted in the proper, uh, format, so I was like, “Hey, I have no idea why your audio is all jacked up! Why don’t you contact Podango, yo?” and he was like, “Okay! I think I will! Thank you, Chassy Cat. You are so very awesome!” Except I may have added that last part, but who knows?! It all happened so fast, and it’s sort of fuzzy now, but I’m pretty sure he thought I was helpful and awesome because guess what? He totally emailed me to thank me and to offer some constructive technogeeky advice regarding the lighting for my oh-so-humble podcast o’ TechnoGeekery.

Unfortunately his email went straight to my Junk Mail; fortunately I often skim over said Junk Mail, so I totally caught it amongst the offers to increase my… er, girth… well, whatever!

Anyway, I SO appreciated the advice. I mean, I’ve been told before that I should look into lighting, but I was like, “Dude. No way am I spending that kind of money! That’s a whole lot of Taco Bell!” Except, I totally don’t ever eat at Taco Bell. Their beans are DEHYDRATED. As for filming TechnoGeekery, I’ve tried moving around a bit, and my best lighting has been up in my room facing the window, but the natural light can be a little too harsh. Like, “Hello, freckles! How you doin’?” But my new TechnoGeek friend suggested I forgo spending what he called “a butt load of money on studio lighting” (which, HA! he said “butt”) and invest in a type of (cheap) lighting (totally inexpensive) he called China balls (which don’t cost much money at ALL).

Apparently, China balls—those paper globes with the metal ribs and a light bulb inside—are perfect for creating natural soft light. YES. Hello softer shadows! My freckles and I thank you, TechnoGeek Jim. No, really. From the bottom of my photoprotective melanin-deprived heart. Or skin. Oh, you know what I mean.

And I mentioned the “not expensive” part, right? Like, Blue Light Special cheap? That’s all I’m saying.

So… China balls! I didn’t know that is what those were called, but my aunt had several of them hanging in her bedroom in the early 80’s, so I am familiar with them. Hmmm, come to think of it, now that I know they are generally used to create natural soft light and pleasing skin tones… well, frankly, I’m a little wigged out. I am also forcibly reminded of her totally radical boyfriend back then, however, and I suppose the need for softer lighting would come into play… boyfriend had a perm AND a ’stache! Couple that with his trendy 80’s fashion sense, and well, I’m not surprised. Honestly.

So, a big shout out to my new TechnoGeek peep, Jim! Thanks. I will definitely try to implement a new lighting arrangement as soon as I can get my hands on some cheap China balls!

Oh. Oh MY. Well that just sounds dirty. How embarrassing. I shall now call them cheap China lanterns.

Heck. I may even devote an entire TechnoGeekery episode to the benefits of cheap China ba– er, lanterns! I mean it. Ain’t technology grand?…

… Transformers! Robots in disguise! 

Ha! That never gets old.

I’m Shameless When It Comes to Plugging You…

Okay… well, that was supposed to be a play on the lyrics of Billy Joel’s “Shameless” (or Garth Brooks’, whatev, pick your poison, I don’t judge), but I realize now that it just sounds dirty.

Eh.

So I made this wicked awesome header logo for my Chassy Studios website (to match, but not totally match, DWM and TechnoGeekery) and I want to brag and whatnot, not to mention plug my services (dude, again with the dirty), even though I am actually too busy right now to take on any new clients, which is completely beside the point, clearly, but I thought I’d mention it, so step OFF me! GOSH.

What?

Ah, yes! The header logo! Shameless plug! Because of the wicked awesomeness!

Check it:

 

Eh? Eh?! With the Chassy Car and the Chassy Town and the Chassy Tree and Chassy Buildings and e’rything?!  Right?!

Wicked awesome. I’m just saying.

So… there you have it.

Oh, I’m shameless. I just wanted you to know.
Oh, I’m down on my knees… shameless.

Hmmm… there’s a joke in there somewhere. I just KNOW it.

Legendary Music Video

Okay, so I created this song using my mad Garageband skillz… also, by using a Media Converter to grab the karaoke version of the song off YouTube, but whatever. Still cool!

A legendary music video is in the works. I’m hoping to enter it in a contest and win some sweet prizes. Because I’m a huge geek?

Enjoy!

Or not. Whatev.

(BTW: Any thoughts on how to MAKE said Legendary Music Video would be much appreciated! I’m envisioning RockBand instruments… oh, AND a strobe light. Because, AWESOME?)

Cat and Paige Expose Leopard and XP Secret Tips at TechnoGeekery

A new TechnoGeekery episode– featuring a reunion of Cat and Paige from the wildly popular television recap podcast, Veronica Mars REWIND– is now up! Check it out!

TechnoGeekery Show #28: Leopard and XP Secret Tip

This secret tip is so wicked awesome it is sure to help alleviate even the worst mouse clicking fatigue. And, hey! Who knew Leopard and Windows XP had so much in common? BOOYAH!

Videos Before Ho’s

“Hey, Momma, since you’ve never seen it, we should go see ‘Horton Hears a Ho’ tonight!”

*snorts of laughter*

“What did I say?”

………………………………………………..

And speaking of ho’s, Chassy Pimp makes an appearance on the latest episode of TechnoGeekery. And she RAPS, yo? Right?! I’m sayin’. Sweet.

TechnoGeekery Show #16 (actual #26): Blog Books and Blurb Raps

Please note that the latest episode of TechnoGeekery is also available in the DWM sidebar. Right over there –>. And by clicking on the “Toggle Full Screen” icon in the lower right-hand corner of the sidebar’s Podango player, you can watch the video–wait for it… wait for it– full screen! Just so’s ya know.

An Announcement and a Recommendation

Did you notice my new site?! Did it myself! I KNOW, right?! SWEET. And TechnoGeekery totally matches! Woo!

Okay, first of all, there is News regarding my video podcast o’ technogeekery, which I relay to you in my latest episode of TechnoGeekery with Chassy Cat (which I will always upload via my brand-spanking new Podango’s Flash 9 player in my sidebar here at DWM. I KNOW, right?!):

TechnoGeekery is Brought to You By…

On this Very Special Episode of TechnoGeekery, I announce the show’s very first Corporate Sponsor: Johnson & Johnson’s Aveeno Baby products.

That’s right! TechnoGeekery, along with the Mommycast and Friends Family Channel and Aveeno Baby, is making total podcast history! No, REALLY. Please feel free (and by “feel free” I mean, “do this, please, please, oh please…”) to click on the Aveeno Baby banner under “The Latest at TechnoGeekery” at my TechnoGeekery site to learn more about their products (and to show just how awesome we TechnoGeeks are, naturally!). Thank you so much for your support.

Oh, and buy Aveeno lotion. Then tell me about how awesome it is in the comment section of my TechnoGeekery site. And then click on the Aveeno banner again. Are you getting what I’m saying here? CLICK!

Also, if you haven’t visited me at iTunes, please stop by and leave me tons of positive feedback! Unless you have nothing nice to say, in which case, stay AWAY.

Thanks!

And FINALLY… the recommendation portion of this post:

Despite an unsolicited newfound intimate knowledge of Jason Segel’s manbits, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is laugh out loud funny. It’s got my girl Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars!) in it, and seriously, her British rocker boyfriends steals every scene he’s in. And there are PUPPETS, people! PUPPETS!

In fact, this movie was so laugh out loud HIII-larious, that I will probably have to see it again! Oh, because the packed theater laughed so loudly that I missed stuff, not because of the manbits. Sheesh. Get your minds out of the gutters. (Yes, I’m talking to YOU, William and Nils…)

Check it out! Hey, I meant the MOVIE.

Honestly. You people…

Guess who’s TWITTERpated?!

Follow Chassy Cat at TWITTER.

That’s right, y’all. I’ve already jumped on board the Twitter train, but now I am determined to get off my lazy, non-Twitteriffic butt and rush full steam ahead! Or something. Crap. Yeah, I lost myself in my analogy, too.

Whatever! My point is this: I have installed a Twitter widget in my right sidebar. Seriously. Take a look. —> Over there! I can wait… See, I’ve decided to Twitter random thoughts as they occur to me throughout the week. For instance, please note today’s Chassy Cat Tweets:

Britney Spears totally cracked me up on HIMYM. Well, there you have it. Words I never thought I’d utter without a codicillary “Not!”

AND

I suddenly realized the only time I will ever “stop traffic” is during my funeral procession and basically my day went downhill from there.

Woo! FUN! I mean, that is good stuff there. All I’m saying is that a person needs an outlet for all the randomness in life, and I think I’ve found mine. And all in 140 characters or less, to boot! That’s right… hollah!

*raises the roof*

So feel free to visit DWM to see my Tweets, or head on over to Twitter and follow me there. Oooh, and if you already have a Twitter account, we can totally Tweet each other! Right?!

Dirty.

TechnoGeekery Show #15: Product Review… EYE-FI Wireless Card

A new TechnoGeekery episode is up! And in it, I am Reviewer Gal! That’s right! I was asked to test out and review a techno gadget!

FOOYAH!

So I was all, “Heck, yes, I’ll test and review a techno gadget!” And TechnoGeekery Show #15: Product Review… EYE-FI Wireless Card was born!

And then I took a nap, being thoroughly exhausted by all the exclamations.

Music in the podcast provided by the Podsafe Music Network, with Remember by Black Lab, Photograph by Lee Coulter, and Shady by Rayko/KRB.

Another TechnoGeekery Quickie! Plus… A TD/Kate Movie Debut!

Another episode of TechnoGeekery is up. It’s a quickie!

TechnoGeekery Quickie #6: Attaching Files to Email

In this one, I get down to basics and explain how to attach files– such as documents, pictures, or videos– to your emails. Because my TechnoGeeks ASKED me, that’s why! Now, we’ve gone over this before, people! Don’t MAKE me get out my guitar and write a song, yo?

In other news, TD and Paige’s daughter, Kate, wrote, directed, starred in, and produced a short video for a children’s video festival they want to enter. They did this– from the script-writing to the camera work to the film editing– completely independently and are bizarre and genuinely hilarious in it.

For real. They have the best chemistry and comedic timing. I don’t know where they get this.

“What’s up with that?! Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

TechnoGeekery: Request for Questions

New vidcast up at TechnoGeekery.com!

That being said, I’ve been thinking about the future lately. Oh, not in a Saving For The Future kind of way, or an I Will One Day Backpack My Way Across Europe If It Is The Last Thing I Ever Do So Help Me GOD kind of way, but in the What The HELL Am I Doing With My LIFE way. You know. I know you know.

I blame TechnoGeekery.

Oh, yes. Yes, I do.

Here’s thing. I was approached, asked if I’d be interested in focusing my desire to create video podcasts into something with a little more purpose than PSA’s about Public Restroom Cell Phone Etiquette (I still stand by my original stance of *shudder*), and I was all, “Okay!”

Because I’m STUPID?

Here, let me tell you a secret: Me? I’m a bit of a perfectionist. No, really! Um… and a tad OCD. A smidge, really. Oh, and there’s the ADHD thing. So being the sole writer, cinematographer, film editor, director, producer, performer, musical coordinator, and PR person for a video podcast? A little time consuming. And–perhaps– a bit stressful. You know, at times. Or… most of the time.

So, while many audio podcasters may be able to set aside a few nights a week to record two or three episodes of their show per night, it is possible they may not have even a remotely accurate idea of the amount of time I put into one five-minute episode of TechnoGeekery.

See, it’s a chunk of time. A HUGE chunk. Big ol’ chunky chunk. Lots of chunk going on here.

And I can’t help wondering… well, what in the world is it all for? Why do I do it? Why do I fret over it? Will I look back on my life ten years from now and think, “Boy, HOWDY. I am so GLAD I spent all my free time making episodes of TechnoGeekery.” In the big scheme of things, how important is it to me that maybe–just perhaps– I made someone laugh? And maybe–just perhaps– I taught someone something they didn’t know? And if the answer to both of those questions is “pretty darn important,” the obvious question is then, “Is it important enough?”

And I’m not sure it is.

Especially when I stumble across a piece of writing like the following, which I wrote back in June of ‘06 after seeing Shopgirl, and I am reminded of exactly where I want to be in ten years:

June 5, 2006

This weekend TGIM and I watched Steve Martin’s novella-turned-motion picture Shopgirl (which… great movie) and though it had moments of humor which one would expect from the guy who shall go down in infamy as That Guy Who Played The Jerk, the humor was quiet– subtle, even. Further, the movie truly said something, spoke truths, and conveyed this in an atmosphere that was slow and thoughtful and deeply affecting. It reminded me quite a bit of Lost in Translation, actually, in both pace and poignancy. Both movies star over-the-hill comedians in quirky, May-December relationships with beautiful young girls– and I do freely admit the thought of watching Steve Martin and Bill Murray playing any beautiful young girl’s crush/lover initially squicked me right out– but amazingly, they both pull it off, so yay them.

But most of all, both movies speak of loss and discovery and an emotional awakening in a way that I have come to realize I long to master in my own writing. But too often it seems that when I am writing and find myself faced with the choice of expressing myself in a thoughtful, subtle manner or in a humorous, bantering light, I inevitably choose to joke. And I joke because that’s just what I DO, I laugh, whether life brings me gifts of joy all tied up with pretty bows or bitch-slaps me and hands me bitter disappointment, I laugh and laugh and laugh. Then laugh some more. To be honest, I cry, also, but not in front of anyone, not so anyone can see, because what if people find out there are chinks in this laissez faire demeanor I’ve created– they could hurt me more, right? I don’t like anybody to see me cry. Much like my youngest daughter Alli, who when she hurts herself will inevitably jump up from the spill shouting, “I’m all right! I’m okay! That kind of tickled, actually!” even though we all know it hurt her and there are tears in her eyes and she is just saying it didn’t hurt so we will leave her alone and she can run away and cry in peace. In a way perhaps we are trying to say, “You can’t hurt me. Nothing can hurt me. I laugh at pain! Ha ha ha!”

So I write and I’m silly and whimsical and manic and almost always utterly tongue-in-cheek, and though I quite often express exactly what I am truly feeling, it is more often than not hidden away in evasive verbiage. Linguistic smoke and mirrors, if you will. And though I know emotional honesty does not always have to be slow or thoughtful and that poignancy and humor are not mutually exclusive, I wish sometimes I could find the words to illustrate what I really mean without resorting to silliness and feigned vapidity. To be starkly honest, to lay my heart out in words so you could actually feel it beating if you just listened closely enough, and you just KNOW. You feel me. Hear me.

Then, inevitably, I run off to watch an old episode of Buffy or Veronica Mars and I am lost in the witty quips and snarky banter, and awed by the sheer brilliance of the marriage between humor and poignancy in the writing, and I’m like, “Eh.”

Because although I sometimes yearn– burn, even– to write peaceful, thoughtful prose, yes, passages of deeply affecting language whose impact will stay with people for hours, days, even years after reading it, that is not who I am. I am impulsive and passionate, rarely peaceful. And I see life though a haze of sardonic humor and I can’t help but spill it out in my writing.

And I think I am finally coming to terms with that.

Grr! Stupid Shopgirl. Making me all meditative and whatnot. Bah! I’m off to eat a donut and shake off this silly moment of introspective sentimentalism… I’m thinking cinnamon cake.

Carry on.

Pet Store Shenanigans

Pet stores. Exciting for the kiddos, smelly to the momma, and oh-so educational. For EVERYBODY.

The other night we were in the vicinity of the pet store, so we threw caution to the wind and went to torture ourselves by looking at the most adorable kittens and puppies and other allergen-riddled mammals (and some way creepy non-mammals) that we can never ever buy, not even in a million years, as my kids will tell you, “Thanks to Mom and her stupid allergies that could totally kill her, GOSH!” But they’re not bitter. They love me.

So, we browsed the store, marveling at the gecko’s eyes, giggling over the mice-in-the-wheel shenanigans, and freaking out over the ssslithering ssslinkiness of the snakes. As we approached the cockatiel cage, a favorite stop of my kiddos, we inadvertently stumbled upon an intimate moment between the two cockatiel residents.

Now, listen… I don’t care what anyone says, NOBODY wants to watch these pet store animals get their freak on. They’re shameless exhibitionists, openly exulting in braggy displays of unrestrained lust– all, “Oooh! Look at me! Look at me!” (and often in positions that put the Kama Sutra to shame)– displays which everyone knows are not appropriate for public and/or mixed company, and it’s exposed and embarrassing and gross, like karaoke.

But I digress.

“Oh, my,” said Hannah, pausing for one infinitesimal moment before hurrying past the cage, an embarrassed grin slowly spreading across her face.

“What?” Alli asked before looking into the cage. “Ooooh! Look! That one’s giving the other one a piggyback ride!”

Tanner and Hannah snorted.

“She doesn’t know,” Tanner said, turning away from the cage.

“Yeah, she doesn’t,” Hannah agreed.

But Alli was having none of it. She stood there, a thoughtful expression on her face as she shifted her attention between her grinning and increasingly red-faced siblings and the busy little caged birdies.

Thankful for at least one child with a shred of farmyard innocence, I began to shoo my kids toward the exit. Before we made it two steps, however, TGIM wandered over from the aquarium section of the store.

“What’s up?” he asked.

Okay. FINE. I giggled (because… dirty!) but only in my head. Duh. I have filters! Most of the time!

“Look, Daddy!” Hannah said, pointing at the cage.

So TGIM looked. Then looked again. It was one of those amusing little television moments where you could practically hear the double-take sound effect.

Then TGIM looked at me, and his eyes did that yelling thing, you know, where they are all, “Um, hello? Cat? WHAT the…?!” Like somehow I encouraged the birds to go for a quickie during store hours! Whatever. My eyes told his eyes to just STEP OFF.

Suddenly, Alli turned away from the cage, and in an ah-HA! tone of voice exclaimed, “Oh, I know! They’re mating!”

“Giddyup, little horsey!” Hannah blurted out, pitching Tanner into a fit of the giggles.

You know how you do that thing when you are trying not to laugh at something your child says because you aren’t quite sure whether or not it would be appropriate to encourage said child in questionable expressions of humor? You know, that thing? With the trying not to laugh? TGIM and I were doing that thing. Well, attempting to do that thing, anyway.

Hey, don’t judge. You weren’t there. You don’t know.

We turned to leave. Hannah grabbed her red-faced daddy’s hand and skipped alongside him as we headed out the doors and into the parking lot. “Hey, did you see the smiles on the birdies’ faces, Daddy?” she asked.

Tanner– trailing behind the two– scoffed at her ignorance. “Birds don’t smile.”

“Those ones were. Did you see, Daddy?! Those were happy birdies!”

“Okay, now you’re just embarrassing me,” TGIM said and determinedly changed the subject. To dessert ideas, I think, which… brilliant?!

But at my side, I felt a gentle tug on my arm. I looked down at Alli, who grabbed my hand with her little one and said in an innocent, confiding little voice, “Well, that sure looked like an awkward way to mate, didn’t it Momma?!”

In an instant, sure knowledge of impending adolescence (times three!) struck me and wrestled the air from my lungs more quickly than that time my big sister slammed her end of the see-saw down so violently it launched me up and off… and down. THUNK.

Can’t…! breathe…! I remember thinking back then. I thought the same now.

I choked back the breathlessness. I powered through. There was time yet. Still time.

“Oh, absolutely,” was all I replied, as I squeezed her hand. “Absolutely.”

Validation! Concurrence!

Guess which new TV drama won the People’s Choice Awards?! Just GUESS! Gossip Girl? NO! Private Practice? UH-UH! Journeyman? NEIN! Could it have been… oh, MOONLIGHT, perhaps?! Hell, YES!

5UVqUqOXaGg
Be truthful. How sexy is that Australian accent? DEAD sexy, that’s how sexy! Not that I care. Just thought I’d point it out, is all. Ahem.

Man. I love validation. What can I say? I’m needy like that.

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